Bad things to get fired over

  1. Imitate South Park characters for the duration of an important client meeting.
  2. Terrorize the staff by pretending to be “a big, angry bear”.
  3. Hide office silverware in the photocopier.
  4. Play Orson Welles’ War of the Worlds radio broadcast on the loudspeaker system. Throw out office equipment in an effort to, “appease our new, alien overlords.”
  5. Call in sick with projectile leprosy.
  6. Stalk yourself and send complaints to Human Resources about your Evil Twin.
  7. Draw “tattoos” on coworkers with Bic pens. Form rival gangs and take over hallways.
  8. Tell your coworkers you can tell the future using paperclips. Predict that everyone in the office will be stung by pelicans and die from Avian Flu.
  9. Take the Myers-Brigg test and demand to know if being an ENTP lands you in Griffindor House.
  10. What would you want to get fired for?
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Show 40 Comments


  1. Replacing the water in the coffee machine with vodka. Very entertaining.

    Oh, and hi, I’m back after a years or so out of the loop. Visit me again, Dave. If you don’t remember me, no problem, I’ll just go stand on the Brooklyn Bridge and hope for the best,”

  2. Getting fired from a government job for throwing poison darts at Bush’s poster.

    Oh yeah, baby.

  3. Stealing little personal things from people’s desks, putting them in a little cardboard box, which you call your “voodoo box” and getting caught chanting over it by your boss.

  4. Da Popster

    Actually telling the truth when asked for your opinion ……… :wtf:

  5. Spud

    Having chair races up the corridors with toilet paper for bunting…

  6. [Comment ID #81372 will be quoted here]

    Hey! Where ya been?

  7. Mandy

    Bending over in a miniskirt with a tiny :thong: on.

    Oh, wait. You said fired. Sorry, that was how I got hired


  8. Bigwavdave

    [Comment ID #81384 will be quoted here]

    Thank-you for the visual

    Did I say that out loud?

  9. Bigwavdave

    Sorry, I got sidetracked…Bring your ferrets to work with you and let them run loose.

  10. sledge

    Wear a Herb Tarlick outfit to a major presentation to your shareholders and insist that all personnel be sent home to change into proper business wear

  11. sledge

    Wear a Herb Tarlick outfit to a major presentation to your shareholders and insist that all personnel be sent home to change into proper business wear. create new challenges for your coworkers by hiding their computer mouse

  12. junkman

    i swear to god this happened. an employee wrote on his draft time sheet 15 min. jerking off. he adjusted it out on the official time sheet but left the draft in the washroom where it was found and turned in.

  13. $hrubby

    Call in sick to work and when your boss says, “you don’t sound sick” reply to him/her “I’m having sex with my dog…does that sound sick to you?!” :puke:

  14. Be sure to come into the office wearing your ‘FUCK THE BOTTOM LINE’ T-shirt on casual Fridays.

  15. Brad K.

    Arrange for bugs in the project to get fixed, without going through a meeting.

    Ask for updates to erroneous requirement specs.

    Assure the customer that their requested feature can be added at no apparent cost before explaining to the boss that this saves us money.

    Pee in the boss’s coffee cup, that he routinely leaves in the wash room. Leave a note explaining ‘couldn’t help myself’, unsigned. Use tap water to ‘fill’ the cup.

    Make a big production of only giving ‘stinky’ handshakes to VP marketing.

    Turn in work early, proofed and corrected.

    Take a mid-afternoon break, go to boss’s house, strip down, crawl into his bed and take a nap. Works better if boss’s wife is out shopping.

    Bring your pet Belgian Draft Horse mare to work, insist on bringing her to your cubicle. Place a single, folded newpaper down, then express surprise at the ‘splash’.

    Take pictures of the boss’s dog. Enlarge. Draw pentagram with lime dust on floor of cubicle, put picture of dog, 3 black candles at N/S/W, and one grey candle at East around the picture. Light the candles. Remove pant, dance in right-turning spiral about pentagram, moaning loudly. Shriek at each of the four (4) cardinal points about the pentagram.

    Pull a ‘Gotta Go, Bob!’ by stripping off, hang clothes in your cubicle. Explain you want to cut down casual interruptions.

  16. Infernos

    Telling the boss after a project goes to hell …. “Your incompetence is not my problem”

  17. Mitch

    Drink Inexpensive beer (Regional. Genny Cream Ale in these parts) and eat lots of Hard Boiled eggs and Fried Bologna.

    Let nature take it’s course.

    Be fired for “Administrative Reasons”. E.G., The cleaning lady Asphyxiated in the Mens room.

  18. Franklito

    1.havin sex with the boss’s daughter in his office,
    2.lettin your pitpul run ra rage in your office tearing everything up and scaring the livin crap out of all the employees. then demandin a raise by threatenin to do it again.
    3.coming to work and forgettin to put clothes on.
    4.arriving 3 hours late and taking a two hour cigarette break then takin lunch right after that to leave early.
    5.throw work in your bosses face and say that wasnt part of the job description. sit back and continue to play solitaire. copy your ass and hand them out to everyone in the office with a message “imn not takin this sh.t no more al yall can kiss my ass”
    7.tellin your boss “your breath smells like shit real loud and cover your nose” then sayin ” i shouldnt be forced to work in these conditions”
    8.keying your boss’s car while hes still in it. but not knowin of course.
    9.eatin everybodys lunch then givin them tips on how to make it better.
    10.walkin up to the first person and just punchin them in the face and yell out “OH YEAH I FEEL BETTER NOW” 🙂

  19. Laughing at Dilbert cartoons too much.

    “Dilbert, it isn’t a cartoon. It is a documentary”

  20. Bjorn Freeh

    [Comment ID #81386 will be quoted here]

    Nah… we have plenty of management as it is.

  21. Too late. I already got fired a couple of weeks ago. 😛

  22. junkman

    [Comment ID #81404 will be quoted here]
    wud u do?

  23. Knkangaroo

    Looking under your uniform, in front of patients, to make sure you put your underwear on…………..

  24. donna

    setting a list of people that you think the boss should fire on his desk( with his name on top)and a list of your freinds you think would do the jobs better. with you on the top as the repace him..

  25. donna

    taking a coworker hucking him with the huck of the crane and lifting him up to the roof.

  26. dougieace

    this one worked well for my best bud.
    tell your new superviser”your the piece of shit that i have always been afraid id end up working for”

  27. mikeB

    Sorry, I’m still hung on Mandy’s :thong: and how soon I can hire her

  28. tatertot

    rubber stamping every thing with BULLSHIT instead of final draft and sending it out with your bosses signature on it.

  29. alecto

    Make your co-workers do really stupid stuff while you tape them secretly. Then, either blackmail them or send it to Americas Funniest Home Videos 😈 Just be sure to have a kick-ass team of lawyers behind you every step of the way.

  30. Drusky

    [Comment ID #81390 will be quoted here]

    Along those same lines, using tape to mark off the ‘walls’ of your office and yelling at your boss when he/she/it walks in without knocking…

    Attend important meetings and sit there laughing like Bevis & Butthead…
    “Uhhh, heh heh heh! He said it! He said ‘hard drive…’ ” 😈

  31. Drusky

    [Comment ID #81422 will be quoted here]
    Alas, Mike… We probably couldn’t afford her salary…


  32. Buy a chocolate coffee creamer bottle from International Delight and replacing the chocolate creamer with either Bailey’s Chocolate, Bailey’s Chocolate Mint, or actual Kahlua. When the boss asks why this taste like it has alcohol in it, I’ll say,”well, I always thought we should drink to our excess,I mean success!” :java: :mrgreen: 😆

  33. But of course if you do anything like this must involve winning the lottery in a big way first. You know tweak the boss’s nose and then move to the Caribbean.

    I don’t have anything that would get me fired.
    But I did at one time make a cubical periscope to see if my neighbor was in or not.
    :java: :java: :java: 😆

  34. First off, number seven is soooo totally me!

    Second of all, I have always wanted to follow some of my hygiene deficient coworkers out of the communal bathroom yelling, “Didn’t wash hands!”

    Third, attempt to slide from one end of office to the other end using only newly waxed floors and socks. (I actually did this.)

  35. wildblackflower

    SORRY I”M LATE(replying to this question). Oh yeah, that’s why I was fired supposedly after rejecting my boss’ sexual advances. 😳

  36. [Comment ID #81406 will be quoted here]

    nothing worth getting fired over, that’s for sure. long story short, bitch manager threw 7 employees under the bus for doing the same thing that she did, but she lied about it and we didn’t. feh. if anything, it should be been a slap on a wrist followed by a “don’t do that” but they chose to clean house, right before the holidays. assholes.


  37. hahaha. ooops. I quoted the wrong comment. teehee. ahem. that was supposed to be [Comment ID #81405 will be quoted here].

    oh man. that’s really funny.

Comments are closed