Geek Humor

When they say: "The SMTP mail server may be acting erratically today." They really mean: "Turn me down for a date, will you? See if you get email anymore." When they say: "Is that really a good user experience?" They really mean: "You're cutting into my World of Warcraft time." When they say: "You haven't provided the proper documentation." They really mean: "I've ruined the project. I plan on blaming you. Somehow." When they say: "That's not a feasible timeframe." They really mean: "You're cutting into my World of Warcraft time." When they say: "I like your t-shirt." They really…

Coworker: "Dave, can you look at this Laser printer? It's broken and I can't find IT anywhere." Me: "Yeah, what's it doing?" Coworker: "Well, {other coworker} sent a color file to this printer but this is a black and white printer." Me: "So?" Coworker: "Well, you just can't do that!" Me: "Yes, you can, and it's just out of paper." Coworker: "…" Coworker: "I don't want to print out this PDF." Me: "Why not?" Coworker: "My monitor doesn't have that much toner." Coworker 1: "We can't use Pantone colors on the website." Coworker 2: "Why not?" Coworker 1: "Because there's…

Protection against Comic Sans: Protects beginning Web Designers from succumbing to the fetid odor of this most noxious font. Dispel MIDI: Makes the spell caster immune to the dissonant shrieks of embedded MIDI soundtracks on personal homepages. Detect Rainbow: Spell destroys rainbow divider bars. Temporarily dispels rainbow-colored text. Mage Page: Magic spell to dispel popup ads and prevent javascript page takeovers. Obscure Animation: Prevents animated GIFs of gay Spiderman from dancing more than one round. Cursor Curse: Prevents the mouse from being followed by animated trails of stars, unicorns and flowers. Vampiric Styles: Touch removes ghastly stylesheets that only work…

WARNING: Extreme geek humor ahead PML (Porno Markup Language), a pornographic computer language specification proposed by DL Byron is nearly ready for release by the W3C. The specifications are as follows: Latest version: http://www.w3.org/TR/porno-spec/ Previous version: http://www.w3.org/TR/2005/TIT-porno-spec-20050428/ Editor: DL Byron Contributors: Davezilla W3C Jerking Draft 30 June 2005 PML is a general-porno markup language designed for representing the sex industry for a wide range of perversions across the World Wide Web. To this end it does not attempt to be all things to all people, supplying every possible kinky jerkoff idiom, but to supply a generally useful set of naughty…

On Friday I got the following error message in BBEdit. Someone had misspelled "title" within a link tag. Error:File wn_messaging.jsp; Line 72: Document type does not permit attribute "tit" within element "<a>". The moral? Don't put your tits in your a.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra…