Bear Warning
Image via David Dunlap
More Annoying Words
Putty Pewter Sputum Guffaw Gewgaw… …And its evil twin geegaw Hijinks Hinky Hella What words are annoying you, lately?
I have a confession to make
Every time I see a convertible parked with its top down, I feel tempted to drop or hide something unexpected in their car. Here are some of the things I have considered “gifting†convertible owners with: Five kilos of confetti A squirrel Dry ice A kite, tied to the back seat A rubber snake A Walkie Talkie under the seat Someone else’s underwear in the backseat Parking tickets Sex toys and used condoms A super bubble wand affixed to their headrest What would you drop in a convertible?
Things you’ve never seen
A vegan mosquito A woman with a fear of shoes A cat begging to have a leash put on it A 90 year-old woman off-roading in a Jeep Wrangler A group of overweight frat boys engaged in group pilates Fat, old men in panties, pretending to be teenage girls in chatrooms A roomful of Victoria's Secret models masturbating to Shrek Pirates, sharing their hopes, dreams and feelings A redneck with a deep interest in the plight of non-American workers What have you never seen?
Where I was all weekend, Part II
So this was the bathroom: On the plus side, they had giant scissors, a clearly marked beach and the biggest smiley face I hope to ever see. Also, the Shriners up there drive funny cars. Despite the weirdness, I actually got three days to relax and not work or go online. Go me!
Where I was all weekend, Part I
Lizz and I took a much needed vacation up north this weekend. I had planned a month in advance to get a romantic Bed & Breakfast for the Fourth of July weekend. Sadly, my favorite B&B gets booked up three months ahead so I booked with another place. The week of, I got a panicked call from the proprieter who said she had just received my check that day. It was mistakenly delivered to the neighbor, who had never bothered to bring it over until three weeks later. Needless to say, she was booked solid by then. I made arrangements…
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