Where’s the freaks?
Many of you have emailed me asking what happened to the Freak Watchers site. Well, it is temporarily down. The site was compromised some time this weekend by a rather unscrupulous hacker. Every time you went to the site, Career Builder came up within my domain. Career Builder! Ridiculous. So… the site will remain offline until I can get a spare day to rebuild it in Wordpress. In other news, Sarah Palin is a complete attention whore and should immediately start partying with Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton.
More people we can safely dislike #19
The coworker reads aloud every memo, email, etc. to themselves and has to tell me, "Oh, I'm not talking to you. I'm just thinking aloud." I didn't ask, OK?. People who live in Michigan, one of the snowiest states in the US, but can't drive in 1/2" of snow. Please go back to Ohio/Indiana/Windsor where no one can drive in any weather. People who make weak tea or coffee. If it bothers your stomach, drink something else. This ain't rocket science. People who rake/blow their leaves onto my lawn The Sham Wow guy. Seriously, someone take him out. Who do…
Things I Learned from Movies, Part IV
At any harbor, there will be two or more speedboats with keys left in them Anyone who gets in a speedboat knows how to drive one expertly Same thing applies to motorcycles Aliens are attracted to our women and have matching genetics to breed with them All twins are not only identical, but have matching voices and freckles as well All magical talismans have rules that only work on certain astronomical configurations No matter how rare or ancient the relic, the world's leading expert on it happens to teach at the local university The bad guys—who have spent their lives…
Top Reasons to Vote for Davezilla Instead
If elected, I promise to: Force all road construction to occur during the hours of 3 and 5 AM. By 5:30 AM, all evidence of construction must be hidden Prevent Kevin Costner from making any more turkeys like WaterWorld Illegalize the term 'maverick' Allow voting from the PS3, N360, X-Box, WII and Twitter Mandatory driving tests once you turn 65. Take that, AARP! Politicians (or CEOs) who make ridiculous comments (like being able to see Russia from an Alaska office) will be forced to take elementary school lessons (televised), which will be then graded by elementary school children John Stewart…
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