Recent Effluvia:

Caption Time #280

22 April, 2009
Blogging Tips for Beginners
A lot of people write me and ask me how to make their blog as ground-shakingly popular like this one. Are there any magic formulas for winning blog content? You bet there are! Here are some simple Google searches to perform that will give you content for years to come. Simply combine two words that are not normally seen in close proximity to one another, enter into Google Images and the search results will give you the basis for many meaningful, influential posts! One exception: Pants may be combined with any other word.
1. awesome unicorn
2. squirrel workout
3. uncomfortable pants [MNSFW]
4. bacon explosion
5. origami platypus
6. executive pterodactyl
7. fish pedicure
8. happy pants
9. mysterious knees
10. What search terms would you look up?
20 April, 2009
Ad Placement FAIL

In advertising, location is everything
Via April Winchell

19 April, 2009
~~Friday~~ Saturday Question

Apologies for the few posts of late. I am traveling so much that I rarely get quality Inter Webs time anymore.

What’s your most most embarrassing moment?

C’mon. Out with it.

18 April, 2009
Unusual Uses for Hot Towels
If you sit in first class on a Delta or Northwest flight, you will be given a hot towel shortly before a meal is served. I was always told that hot towels were to cleanse the hands prior to eating. Other people I have sat next to on various flights have had different ideas on what the towels were meant for.
1. Polishing shoes
2. Draped over the face as one would do prior to a barber’s shave
3. Rubbing the breasts
4. Folded up and tucked into the purse. Still wet.
5. Cleaning ears
6. Wiping down the armrests and seatback (probably not a bad idea, actually)
7. Blowing nose into
8. What have you seen people do with hot towels?
16 April, 2009
More people we can safely dislike #20
1. Kids that dropped out of school because, “My teachah’s ignernt.”
2. Clowns. Always clowns.
3. Douchebags that tell their girlfriends they can’t hang out with their guy friends, but they of course can continue to hang out with their ex-girlfriends.
4. People with shit taste in films who insist that despite the critics, despite what my friends have said, despite the awful trailers that I’m really missing out on the depth of Pauly Shore’s venerable acting career.
5. Anyone who defends Coldplay.
6. People who act affronted that they can’t carry automatic weapons with them into Wal-Mart.
7. The Illuminati. I mean, what good are they anymore?
8. Diehard Dan Brown fans.
9. People who text two-handed on their Crackberries while driving a BMW with manual transmission.
10. The reader who keeps mailing me Xtian tracts to save my soul.
14 April, 2009
Friend of yours?

Image via StevieC

12 April, 2009
Suicidal bird

Image by Ion Grosu

09 April, 2009
At last night’s TweetUp…

If you’ve never been to a TweetUp, or new what those Twitter people looked like, here you go.

08 April, 2009
Caption Time #279

07 April, 2009
I didn’t know leprechauns could drive

Mini Announcement: Lizz and I are engaged!

05 April, 2009
Friday Question #12

Have you ever blamed the dog?

03 April, 2009