Where did you hide it?
Recent Effluvia:
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Blogging Tips for Beginners
A lot of people write me and ask me how to make their blog as ground-shakingly popular like this one. Are there any magic formulas for winning blog content? You bet there are! Here are some simple Google searches to perform that will give you content for years to come. Simply combine two words that are not normally seen in close proximity to one another, enter into Google Images and the search results will give you the basis for many meaningful, influential posts! One exception: Pants may be combined with any other word.
- awesome unicorn
- squirrel workout
- uncomfortable pants [MNSFW]
- bacon explosion
- origami platypus
- executive pterodactyl
- fish pedicure
- happy pants
- mysterious knees
- What search terms would you look up?
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Ad Placement FAIL
In advertising, location is everything
Via April Winchell -
Unusual Uses for Hot Towels
If you sit in first class on a Delta or Northwest flight, you will be given a hot towel shortly before a meal is served. I was always told that hot towels were to cleanse the hands prior to eating. Other people I have sat next to on various flights have had different ideas on what the towels were meant for.
- Polishing shoes
- Draped over the face as one would do prior to a barber’s shave
- Rubbing the breasts
- Folded up and tucked into the purse. Still wet.
- Cleaning ears
- Wiping down the armrests and seatback (probably not a bad idea, actually)
- Blowing nose into
- What have you seen people do with hot towels?
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More people we can safely dislike #20
- Kids that dropped out of school because, “My teachah’s ignernt.”
- Clowns. Always clowns.
- Douchebags that tell their girlfriends they can’t hang out with their guy friends, but they of course can continue to hang out with their ex-girlfriends.
- People with shit taste in films who insist that despite the critics, despite what my friends have said, despite the awful trailers that I’m really missing out on the depth of Pauly Shore’s venerable acting career.
- Anyone who defends Coldplay.
- People who act affronted that they can’t carry automatic weapons with them into Wal-Mart.
- The Illuminati. I mean, what good are they anymore?
- Diehard Dan Brown fans.
- People who text two-handed on their Crackberries while driving a BMW with manual transmission.
- The reader who keeps mailing me Xtian tracts to save my soul.
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Friend of yours?
Image via StevieC
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Suicidal bird
Image by Ion Grosu
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At last night’s TweetUp…
If you’ve never been to a TweetUp, or new what those Twitter people looked like, here you go.
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I didn’t know leprechauns could drive
Mini Announcement: Lizz and I are engaged!
Swiggety-Swag
I make things. People buy them.
Tarot of the Unexplained
USD $22.95
- The first tarot deck to include cryptids, the paranormal, portals, and Forteana.
- Silver, gilded-edge 30 gsm cards
- Includes a 96-page full-color book
Magical AI Grimoire
USD $22.95
- 288 page grimoire chronicling the magical community’s adoption of tech and AI
- Learn how to use AI for spells from multiple magical systems point of view
- Forward by Peter J. Carroll
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