Category: Original Humor

  • New Year, New Pronouns

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    According to my daughters, my pronouns are Bruh / Dude / and Hey!

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Gods Through the Ages, Part I

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What I Learned About Computer Security From Movies

    Computer security is a subject that, with the sole exception of Mr. Robot, has never been portrayed realistically on movies or television. I had a lot of help on this one. Co-authored by my old friends, Chris Moritz and Scott Vowels.

    Written by

    Davezilla
    A hacker wearing a hoodie in a dark room. He is working on a retro laptop.

  • Lies clients (still) tell freelancers

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    The lies clients tell freelancers never change. I often wonder if there’s a business class where the prof tells students which lies to use on us.

    Written by

    Davezilla
    A Greek statue of a man facepalming from all the client lies he hears

  • Garganornis: Even its name is evil

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    Just picture being a Cro Magnon. You’ve just gotten a nice cave in the ‘burbs for the fam. Worked hard on the garden damn, those 15 lb. Rafflesia flowers are looking fine. Then you hear it. Honking. Not the wimpy honk of a long-dead Velociraptor. Nope. There used to be a giant goose named Garganornis.…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • I predict for 2020 through 2021

    The Good News Kanye, in a surprise last-minute move, wins the Electoral College and becomes the next president. First Lady Kim enforces twerking as a fitness regime in elementary schools to the dismay of parents. She admits this was a “marketing miss” and introduces the slogan, “Be Badass.” POTUSYe writes a new national anthem that…

    Written by

    Davezilla
    I predict for 2020

  • Dear Satan,

    Seeing as how the world and its population have changed dramatically over the centuries, I have some suggestions for you on expanding Hell to accommodate some of Earth’s newer denizens. Please add new sections to Hell for the following: Cyber Squatters who hold onto URLs. Double Dippers at parties. People who park in handicapped spots…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Every HGTV episode. Ever.

    First time buyers, Jeremy and Meagan have been looking at stately mansions in California’s pricey Sonoma Wine Country. Their must-haves include an Olympic swimming pool, a 1/4 mile dog kennel run, and a finished basement they can play regulation ice hockey in.” “Meagan is a stay-at-home, Mommy blogger who sends lots of empowering messages to…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Fantasy Movies that Should Have Been

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    What fantasy movies did you think up?

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What I Learned from Movies, XV: Cop-Out Answers

    One thing I really hate? Unacceptable answers to cover a weak plot or to justify why a character can do a certain thing. The second and third Matrix movies are notorious for covering plot gaps with lines that at first listen sound like they could be deep—then you remember that these are movies with Keanu…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • What I Learned from Movies XIV: Military Movies

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Things I Learned from Movies: Vampires

    What have you learned about vampires?

    Written by

    Davezilla