Garganornis: Even its name is evil

Just picture being a Cro Magnon. You’ve just gotten a nice cave in the ‘burbs for the fam. Worked hard on the garden damn, those 15 lb. Rafflesia flowers are looking fine.

Then you hear it. Honking. Not the wimpy honk of a long-dead Velociraptor. Nope. There used to be a giant goose named Garganornis. It was so tall, it stood up to Chris Helmsworth’s nipples.

Picture a flock of giant geese shitting on your lawn and not just hissing at you. These fuckers would just eat your face and change your cable channels.

Gargornis ballmanni. A goose big enough to eat your poodle and shit it on your carpet.
Garganornis ballmanni. Photo via WikiMedia.