Category: Observations
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Notes to self: 4,705-4,709
Do not rub eyes after using the kitchen sponge. Do not look at the hot secretary while walking towards the heavy glass door. Check your zipper before meeting new clients. 😳 No matter how tempting or funny it seems, do not put tortilla chips on the cats’ heads. They will wait until lights out and…
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Blame it on Rhea
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Overheard: Victoria’s Secret Edition
I went to Victoria’s Secret with my friend Lisa on Saturday. Long story. Cut to the chase. VS is a pretty good place to hear some interesting conversations. Mother: I can’t believe you wore that yellow skirt to the mall. [Daughter is around 15 and wearing a thin yellow mini] I can see your thong…
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Thinking outloud
Do you think there are any hot babes along the International Date Line? Is it possible to truly have civil disobedience? I buy plenty of finger food, but my hands just never seem hungry. Tuber is one of the silliest words in the English language. Say it outloud about ten or eleven times and you’ll…
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“No, George! That’s not what I meant…”
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Have a drink on me
The next time you’re at a drinking establishment and are being served by someone who is obviously new to the job, have a little fun with your order by asking for drinks that sound real, but aren’t. Rum and E. coli Toejito Muddy Mary Rhubarb Margarita Dead Russian Boilmaker Mold Fashioned Phillips Head Screwdriver Piñata…
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Ten things that disturb me about the Jolly Green Giant
He wears a tattered and threadbare tunic with a brand new red scarf. Isn’t aware that green hair is so 1979. Won’t let us see what Mrs. Giant looks like. Responsible for the accidental stepping deaths of 23 American farmers each year. His urine stream causes local flooding. The Giant’s enormous fingers are the reason…
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It’s baddass with the butterfly
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Enough said
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Things we’d like to see
It is the job of an advertising mascot to amuse us and help us remember a particular product. Unfortunately, most of them serve only to annoy the bejeezus out of us. All week I will be getting out my aggressions on the mascots we’ve come to hate. I detest the Arby’s Oven Mitt and the…
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Roaming Gnome’s latest adventures
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Overheard: SPF-45 Edition
Man No. 1: “Dude! You are so sunburnt. You’re as red as a pineapple!” Man No 2: “Pineapples are yellow?” Man No. 1: Really? I guess I never looked that closely.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples…
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