Category: Observations

  • Note to self: 5,003

    The next time you take a shower with your girlfriend, make sure that all of your Albanian neighbor’s 17 cousins have finished flushing the toilet first. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women…

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    Davezilla

  • I’ve been moonlighting

    About this time last year, I read an interesting comment in one of my posts. It claimed to be from the editor of American Greetings Card Company. He was inquiring about purchasing some of my material. To be honest, I thought it was a joke at first; that one of my readers was pranking me.…

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    Davezilla

  • A rabbi, a priest and a blue pixie walk into a bar …

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  • My technique is sillier than yours

    We all know someone at work who brags about taking martial arts. It’s often the guy in the mailroom with the mullet and the NO FAT CHICKS bumper sticker on his rusty Ford Bronco. In between bragging about which bars he was recently banned from, he relates his latest harrowing exploit as a martial arts…

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    Davezilla

  • print:”Hello Kitty”;

    If HTML had been developed by the Japanese first, we would have tags like: <BigHappyFun>Welcome to my Life!</BigHappyFun> girl {skirt-length:shorter; panty-color:#fff; bend:always;} $checkGrammar = explode(‘?’, $checkGrammar); function sailor_from_Moon($schoolGirl) { if ($schoolGirl == ‘underage’) return naked; } <pikachu>I choose you</pikachu> <style=”eyes: 475%; mouth: 45%; leg-length: 300%; skirt: 5%;”> function get_girlstohavesex_withXrating ( $cat_hentai = “noclothes”, $before =…

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    Davezilla

  • Complete this sentence #12

    And like, yesterday? In yoga class? Melissa tried the Blind Sea Monkey Posture and totally __________ her __________ . viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra…

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    Davezilla

  • Overheard: Home Deity Edition

    [ SCENE: Two men are discussing “family values” and Republican beliefs. ] Man #1: He was a fine upstanding Christian man, not unlike this feller here (points to me). You’re a god-fearing Christian, aren’t you? Me: I think of myself as more of a Christian-fearing god. Man #1: … viagra free viagra buy viagra online…

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    Davezilla

  • I see one! I see one!

    You’ve all heard the term GAYDAR, being the inborn ability to spot a gay person on sight. Most of us have this ability to varying degrees. Natalie and I came up with names for other types of natural RADAR that humans possess. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAR: The ability to spot Henry Winkler ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDAR: The ability to spot a…

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    Davezilla

  • Spammers must die

    After spending the entire evening deleting comment spam on two of my sites and working on some freelance, I found myself unable to write a decent post. Instead, free GMail for everyone! Well, for 18 2 of you, anyway. Make sure to include your real email this time. You know who you are.

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    Davezilla

  • Fashion choices that confuse me greatly

    Women who wear tank tops designed for girls 1/4 their size. This may look interesting if said woman is in great shape, but when the wearer needs bookmarks to find her navel, the effect is far less appealing. Men who wear ties with cartoon characters on them to executive meetings. Women (primarily older ones do…

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    Davezilla

  • Lesser-known predictions of Nostradamus

    A Pizza-Maker shall be born near Italy. Who shall cause all penguins to explode, They shall say, with what marshmallow peeps he keeps company He shall be found less a Pizza-Maker than a misshapen toad. From a simple plastic surgeon he will rise to the empire, From the short nose he will attain the long.…

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    Davezilla

  • Note to self: 4,997

    The next time the electric toothbrush fails to start, hold it away from the eyes before it decides to magically spring back to life. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

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