A rabbi, a priest and a blue pixie walk into a bar …

23 September, 2004Posted inObservations29 Comments
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My technique is sillier than yours

20 September, 2004Posted inObservations27 Comments
We all know someone at work who brags about taking martial arts. It's often the guy in the mailroom with the mullet and the NO FAT CHICKS bumper sticker on his rusty Ford Bronco. In between bragging about which bars he was recently banned from, he relates his latest harrowing exploit as a martial arts master, who had his hands registered with the FBI. You yawn and feign interest until you can make your escape. Since all of his stories are B.S., why not have some fun with him and encourage his fantasy? Make up your own fighting techniques and…

print:”Hello Kitty”;

19 September, 2004Posted inObservations14 Comments
If HTML had been developed by the Japanese first, we would have tags like: <BigHappyFun>Welcome to my Life!</BigHappyFun> girl {skirt-length:shorter; panty-color:#fff; bend:always;} $checkGrammar = explode('?', $checkGrammar); function sailor_from_Moon($schoolGirl) { if ($schoolGirl == 'underage') return naked; } <pikachu>I choose you</pikachu> <style="eyes: 475%; mouth: 45%; leg-length: 300%; skirt: 5%;"> function get_girlstohavesex_withXrating ( $cat_hentai = "noclothes", $before = '', $after = '<tentacles>', $between = "legs", $show_images = true, $orderby =( offensiveness ) $flavors = $this -> iceCream( squid_ink ); With assistance from the lovely Natalieviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online…

Complete this sentence #12

17 September, 2004Posted inObservations35 Comments
And like, yesterday? In yoga class? Melissa tried the Blind Sea Monkey Posture and totally __________ her __________ . viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda…

Overheard: Home Deity Edition

16 September, 2004Posted inObservations20 Comments
[ SCENE: Two men are discussing "family values" and Republican beliefs. ] Man #1: He was a fine upstanding Christian man, not unlike this feller here (points to me). You're a god-fearing Christian, aren't you? Me: I think of myself as more of a Christian-fearing god. Man #1: … viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra…

I see one! I see one!

15 September, 2004Posted inObservations77 Comments
You've all heard the term GAYDAR, being the inborn ability to spot a gay person on sight. Most of us have this ability to varying degrees. Natalie and I came up with names for other types of natural RADAR that humans possess. AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAADAR: The ability to spot Henry Winkler ARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRDAR: The ability to spot a pirate BRAYDAR: The ability to spot a jackass CHEDAR: The ability to spot a cheese lover GRAYDAR: The ability to spot someone who is lying about their age GREYDAR: The ability to spot aliens among us KRAYDAR: The ability to spot a supercomputer LAYDAR: The…

Spammers must die

14 September, 2004Posted inObservations50 Comments
After spending the entire evening deleting comment spam on two of my sites and working on some freelance, I found myself unable to write a decent post. Instead, free GMail for everyone! Well, for 18 2 of you, anyway. Make sure to include your real email this time. You know who you are.

Fashion choices that confuse me greatly

12 September, 2004Posted inObservations11 Comments
Women who wear tank tops designed for girls 1/4 their size. This may look interesting if said woman is in great shape, but when the wearer needs bookmarks to find her navel, the effect is far less appealing. Men who wear ties with cartoon characters on them to executive meetings. Women (primarily older ones do this) who wear ankle-high pantyhose with knee-length skirts. I am at a complete loss to understand why the hairiest of men favor the smallest of bathing suits. Are they trying to scare us? Geeks who clip to their belts, their PDA, cellphone, JumpDrive and pet…

Lesser-known predictions of Nostradamus

07 September, 2004Posted inObservations32 Comments
A Pizza-Maker shall be born near Italy. Who shall cause all penguins to explode, They shall say, with what marshmallow peeps he keeps company He shall be found less a Pizza-Maker than a misshapen toad. From a simple plastic surgeon he will rise to the empire, From the short nose he will attain the long. Great schools of Sea Monkeys shall arise. A great troop shall come through Russia. The destroyer shall eliminate the color beige. The great color beige will soon be exchanged for the color puce. Which will soon cover the most. A small puce of tiny area…

Note to self: 4,997

06 September, 2004Posted inObservations13 Comments
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Overheard: Sushi edition

03 September, 2004Posted inObservations30 Comments
Man #1: How come every fat guy in America has a goatee? Man #2: Bush made that a law. You didn't hear? Customer: Is this sushi all fish or what? Waitress: No. Some is fish, Some is vegetable. Some is raw. Not all. Some is barbecue. Customer: How about chicken? Waitress: No. Chicken is not sushi. Chicken is … a chicken bird.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest…

Bad sushi ideas

02 September, 2004Posted inObservations24 Comments
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