Note to self: 5,047

13 October, 2004Posted inObservations27 Comments
The next time you get a contact allergy that develops a rash, and everyone tells you not to scratch it, listen to them. :sad:viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic…

Note to self: 5,023

10 October, 2004Posted inObservations13 Comments
When you’re washing your face in the shower, no matter how tempting, don’t inhale.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what…

You decide…

09 October, 2004Posted inObservations17 Comments
Yesterday: Martha Stewart was sent to jail Ev quit Blogger Kerry surpassed Bush in the Electoral College Cher announced she will pose nude on her 60th birthday Coincidence? I think not.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

If I am elected President…

08 October, 2004Posted inObservations33 Comments
There will not only be yards of beer, there will be yards of coffee. Daylight Saving Time will happen every season. I haven’t worked out the math yet, but we will gain an hour’s sleep every season. Let us learn from our southern neighbors in Mexico. Mandatory siestas at work. People who make quote marks with their fingers in the air while talking will be sent to a federal penitantiary. Donald Trump will be fired. Carrot Top will die for our sins. Hummer owners will be forced to drive AMC Pacers. Eating carbs would once again be something we are…

How to win an argument with a dog

05 October, 2004Posted inObservations16 Comments
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How to win an argument with a cat

05 October, 2004Posted inObservations29 Comments
Begin with a standard ontological argument, such as Gödel’s Theorum. Open with Definition 1: x is God-like iff x has as essential properties those and only those properties which are positive Your cat will likely counter that no definition of the notion of “positive property” is supplied with the proof. At most, the various axioms which involve this concept can be taken to provide a partial implicit definition. Ignore this interruption and continue with Definitions 2 and 3. Your cat will yawn to discourage you and remind you that if a property belongs to the set, then its negation does…

Note to self: 5,017

04 October, 2004Posted inObservations16 Comments
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People we can safely dislike #3

02 October, 2004Posted inObservations14 Comments
People who see every natural disaster or world event as somehow intimately tied to themselves, and view their existence as the cause. You’re waiting in a huge line at an over-priced coffee chain. The person in front of you has spent the entire time complaining about how ridiculous the line is and how long everyone is taking to order. It’s finally that person’s turn. Like a deer in the headlights, they suddenly have no idea what they want and need to have each item described in detail. Twice. The guy who always has a story one better than you. No…

Mini Pinch

27 September, 2004Posted inObservations51 Comments
We've all played Slug Bug (or its bastard variant: Punch Buggy). The concept is simple. Spot a VW Beetle driving past, call it and its color out before your friend does, and punch them as hard as possible. Newer games have since arisen such as doing the ZZ Top arm swing every time a PT Cruiser goes past or flipping off Hummer drivers. Natalie and I propose a new game called Mini Pinch. See a Mini Cooper, yell Mini Pinch and pinch the person next to you. It's easy and very addictive, particularly if the person next to you has…

Note to self: 5,003

26 September, 2004Posted inObservations16 Comments
The next time you take a shower with your girlfriend, make sure that all of your Albanian neighbor’s 17 cousins have finished flushing the toilet first.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for…

I’ve been moonlighting

24 September, 2004Posted inObservations42 Comments
About this time last year, I read an interesting comment in one of my posts. It claimed to be from the editor of American Greetings Card Company. He was inquiring about purchasing some of my material. To be honest, I thought it was a joke at first; that one of my readers was pranking me. Happily, this was not the case and a few days later, I was signing a contract to create a 2005 day-at-a-time calendar based on the Manly Tips for Bachelor Living section of this very website. One year later and I have the sample copies in…