Category: Observations

[ Scene: Coffeehouse counter, two 9th grade girls are flirting with the barista, a man as gay as a French Horn ] Girl #1: “Can you believe this? She [ points to Girl #2 ] isn’t even wearing underpants and it’s like um, fucking minus a hundred?” Girl #2: “I fuckin’ never wear panties. Shit,…

When eating a vegetable roll-up that includes Greek hot peppers, avoid the temptation to rub the eyes. Keep the lock de-icer outside the vehicle; not in the glovebox. Don’t try to unlock a frozen vehicle while holding a hot coffee. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy…

An American Hamster in London The Texas Pencil Sharpener Massacre A Sort of Bad Dream on Elm Street I Spit on Your Sidewalk Invasion of the Bagel Snatchers The Yapping Night of the Living Slackers HeckBoy The Flair Pen Project Dawn of the Bread I Walked with a Gumby The Evil Spread Silence of the…

No doubt you’ve seen television commercials for impotence and “male enhancement” drugs, such as Viagra or Enzyte. There is a constant reference to “performance”. As if your penis is auditioning for the Theatre of Epidaurus in the Stanislavski Method. I can almost picture the inner workings of the penis’ mind as it prepares for its…

From Davezilla: My little pancake of pleasure My sweet love salamander My festering kraken of love My thumbtack of desire My little Vaseline vixen My beautiful love-turnip My little sugar booger My sweet love bunion My darling durian of desire You’re the stent o’ my heart From Natalie: My hairball of loveliness You’re my hard,…

Far be it from me to make fun of an international tragedy, but I keep hearing people struggling with the word tsunami. Ever since the disaster, I have been collecting all the ways I’ve been hearing it pronounced. Correct pronounciation: [ tsoo nä´ me ] Source: Webster’s toot´ suh nä´ me chew mommy shoe nä´…

A man is in a hotel lobby. He wants to ask the clerk a question. As he turns to go to the front desk, he accidentally bumps into a woman beside him and as he does, his elbow goes into her breast. They are both quite startled. The man turns to her and says, “Ma’am,…

The Japanese have very different outlook than the rest of us. This is a really bad name for networking software. Now you too can enjoy pole dancing in the privacy of your own home. Lions are smarter than you think Hardcore Morris dancers viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work…