Category: Observations

  • Unusual names and invisible friends

    Heather Champ mentioned her dogs’ full names in a contest yesterday: Chieka Ciquita Banana Boom Boom Powazek Champ and Bugsley Dante Alphonso P-Pants Champ Powazek. Such clever and descriptive names. The names reminded me of one of my sisters, who had an imaginary friend as a child. Her imaginary friend’s name was Penny Pipperdoodle and…

  • Bad Places for a Third Nipple

    It’s not terribly uncommon for persons of either gender to possess a third nipple. What is uncommon is having the extraneous areola appear in the expected location. Often they are to be found on knees, thighs or shoulder-blades. While neither Natalie (yes, she’s finally updated) nor I can claim ownership of a vestigial nipple, we…

  • Where the beautiful people are

    Back in the 1980s when it seemed every major city had a goth club called “Asylum” or “Sanctuary”, there was an upsurge in singles bars for yuppies. Most had catchy, but annoying, two-syllable names like, “Scruples” or “Mixers” or “Wombats”. Recently, specialty clubs for special needs groups have popped up around the world. I imagine…

  • We need to talk…

    Your Top Searches: There were 18 searches for the week ending 01/29/05 for Davezilla at http://www.davezilla.com/.Here are the top phrases searched: 12 for “davezillas penis” 1 for “goalie” 1 for “blogger pussys” 1 for “rey mysterio” 1 for “dave s penis on cam” 1 for “davezilla s penis” 1 for “hockey” 1 for “hockey icons”…

  • Complete this sentence #17

    “Just what makes you think I’ve got a _______ in my _______ ?” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal…

  • Who’s wearing my genes?

    Each year I become somewhat introspective on my birthday (rather than merely depressed), as I reflect on my life and what I have or have not become. This year it became apparent to me that the following genes remain absent or dormant in my genetic make up: The gene that enjoys waking up prior to…

  • Mind your T’s and A’s

    On Friday I got the following error message in BBEdit. Someone had misspelled “title” within a link tag. Error:File wn_messaging.jsp; Line 72: Document type does not permit attribute “tit” within element “<a>”. The moral? Don’t put your tits in your a. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra…

  • Most Dangerous Jobs

    Bouncer for a Viking Menstrual Hut Wife of Henry VIII Orca Orthodontist at Sea World Wickerman tester Target Changer for the Blind Rifleman’s Association Belfast cab driver Ethiopian Ambassador to Mississipi Catnip grower in India Poison taster for warning labels President of the Ashlee Simpson Fan Club Horticulturist in Chernobyl viagra free viagra buy viagra…

  • The mind is not the first thing to go

    My 41st birthday is this Sunday. They say the mind is the first thing to go. For me, the mind is not the first thing to go. it will be my sense of smell. Four years ago I had a neighbor that reeked so powerfully of God knows what that I thought I had smelled…

  • Modern Literature in Five Words

    Swann’s Way — Marcel Proust “I just can’t fall asleep.” Lo! — Charles Fort “It’s raining cats and frogs.” Mists of Avalon — Marion Zimmer Bradley “Ew! With your own brother?” The Prophet — Kahlil Gibran “You’re all just lazy peasants.” The DaVinci Code — Dan Brown “Fine. Blame Leonardo for everything.” Angela’s Ashes —…

  • A favor

    I have a confession. I’ve not been very pleased with this site over the past year. No, I am not going to give up posting. I just want to improve the content. I reread some of my older entries and in 2001-2003 I wrote some great entries. Last year, I could count on one hand…

  • Best Worst Dream Ever

    I had the stupidest dream of my life last night. In the dream, my best friend was Corey Feldman. All of my friends at work kept teasing me for hanging out with him, but I kept defending Corey. “You just don’t know him like I do. He’s a great guy in person. He’s honest and…