Category: Observations
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Overheard: Cass and Warren Edition
Man 1: “Did you hear about that teenager who got hit by a car at Cass and Warren?” Man 2: “No! At Cass and Warren? That’s gotta hurt. Terrible intersection to get hit at.” Does it hurt less to get hit at other intersections? Teenage girl: “He thinks I’m impressed by his daring and vibrato.”…
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Bleach won’t clean the mental stains
Perhaps I’m just a bad man, but I still find it amusing when innocent people are put into terribly uncomfortable situations. Yesterday I had so much laundry to do that I decided to go to a laundromat and use those washers that are large enough to wash a convertible Mini Cooper. Two elderly ladies were…
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Note to Self: 5,155
The next time you hook up the portable dishwasher to the sink, make sure the hose is connected. The cats will never recover from the unintentional shower. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for…
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Complete this sentence #19
“If I had a nickel for every time an alpaca stumbled into my _______ and nibbled on my_______, I’d have $17 by now.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects…
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Cheers?
I saw an ad for Budweiser Select, allegedly a premium version. Isn’t this a bit like asking for Dog Poop Deluxe? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra…
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The wit and wisdom of my girlfriend, Natalie
First we nap. Then I crush your spirit. It’s like marshmallow, but hard. I got water in my eye from your ass. I am making dinner. It has delicious cheesy goodness. I’m trying to lure you into trusting me. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra…
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Note to Self: 5,139
Let us assume from here on out that when silverware must be pried from a table, it’s time to wipe the table. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female…
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Just a thought
You know how dolphins are capable of using their sonar to herd shoals of fish into tight balls to attack and eat? I wish I could do that with dust bunnies and lint. Except for the eating part. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy…
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Complete this sentence #18
“The Davezilla reader I most want to _______ is _______ .” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…
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Several pricks
An elementary school class started a class project to make a planter to take home to their parents. They wanted to have a plant in it that was easy to take care of, so they decided to use cactus plants. The students were given green ware pottery planters in the shape of a clown, which…
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A day in the life of God
4:30 AM Alarm goes off. Hit snooze twice. 4:48 AM Drag feet out of bed. Trip over Catholic martyrs who have been groveling at feet all night. 4:51 AM Wait for morning erection to subside. 4:59 AM Take a pee over North America. Giggle as Canadians mistake it for acid rain again. 5:12 AM Take…
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This is not a test
Monkeys eat toast in my pants. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra…
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