Observations

The next time you hook up the portable dishwasher to the sink, make sure the hose is connected. The cats will never recover from the unintentional shower.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra…

I saw an ad for Budweiser Select, allegedly a premium version. Isn't this a bit like asking for Dog Poop Deluxe?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india…

First we nap. Then I crush your spirit. It's like marshmallow, but hard. I got water in my eye from your ass. I am making dinner. It has delicious cheesy goodness. I'm trying to lure you into trusting me. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples…

Let us assume from here on out that when silverware must be pried from a table, it's time to wipe the table.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from…

You know how dolphins are capable of using their sonar to herd shoals of fish into tight balls to attack and eat? I wish I could do that with dust bunnies and lint. Except for the eating part.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying…

4:30 AM Alarm goes off. Hit snooze twice. 4:48 AM Drag feet out of bed. Trip over Catholic martyrs who have been groveling at feet all night. 4:51 AM Wait for morning erection to subside. 4:59 AM Take a pee over North America. Giggle as Canadians mistake it for acid rain again. 5:12 AM Take shower. Runoff water floods small Pacific Island. Oops. 6:02 AM Scrub back with a 90 foot loofah. Skin flakes fall over starving Ethiopians who mistake them for manna. 8:33 AM Got the hiccups. Americans mistakenly assume the sound is from North Korean bomb tests and…

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Heather Champ mentioned her dogs' full names in a contest yesterday: Chieka Ciquita Banana Boom Boom Powazek Champ and Bugsley Dante Alphonso P-Pants Champ Powazek. Such clever and descriptive names. The names reminded me of one of my sisters, who had an imaginary friend as a child. Her imaginary friend's name was Penny Pipperdoodle and she lived in our bathroom fan. Naturally, she was quite offended whenever the fan was turned on, as it spun everything in Penny's "house" around. Why, it would take Penny and her 17 siblings several hours to set things aright! How about you? Any imaginary…

It's not terribly uncommon for persons of either gender to possess a third nipple. What is uncommon is having the extraneous areola appear in the expected location. Often they are to be found on knees, thighs or shoulder-blades. While neither Natalie (yes, she's finally updated) nor I can claim ownership of a vestigial nipple, we spent an interesting hour pondering the worst possible locations to have one. On an eyelid Crown of a molar Attached to the cochlea On someone else's chest Under a fingernail Hanging from an eyelash On your voice On your dog On the soul On the…