Observations

When making oatmeal, the required steps are: Boil water Add dried oatmeal to bowl Add the water to the oatmeal before eating viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra…

From The Schoolyard Rhyme Project: UNITED STATES Baby, baby Stick your head in gravy Wash it out with bubble gum and send it to the Navy SOUTH AFRICA Yum yum bubble gum Stick your finger up your bum If it's nice, lick it twice Yum yum bubble gum DENMARK Hvis og hvis min røv var spids og fuld af limonade, sÃ¥ mÃ¥tte du min ven slikke den til ballerne blev flade [English Translation] If or if not my butt was pointy and filled with lemonade, then you my friends could lick it until my buttocks were flat I am dying…

Thursday evening yours truly was interviewed by the fine folks at The DropCast for an upcoming webcast about this site (I'll link to it once it's live). In a synchronistic turn of events, a smooth jazz radio station was broadcasting from the apartment below me. By broadcasting, I do not mean that someone had the stereo up. I mean the DJs and crew were having a party in the apartment directly below me. Astute readers will recall that this very apartment was formerly occupied by the Albanian Hyenas. While this in itself is an odd coincidence, it wasn't all that…

Ever seen GLH? It's been around for a few years, a truly frightening sign of the times. GLH is spray paint for balding heads. Nothing more. Somehow this is supposed to simulate hair follicles. I saw a man who had used this product. How could I tell? Because even at a distance of eight feet, in low light, his bald head was clearly spray-painted black. Unevenly, I might add. The effect was that of a man who was the victim of a drunken fraternity prank. The question to me is, what the hell does GLH really stand for? Surely it…

There's just something about a President that says sex sex sex. Even in portraits, Clinton seemed to reach out and touch his audience. Bush brings out the animal in others. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…

Fresh out of ideas for Halloween costumes? Allow me to help: Ennui A Braille Newspaper The Grassy Knoll A Widget Aisle 14 of Wal-Mart Voicemail The Ghost in the Machine The Bell Curve Nepotism Schrodinger's Cat Litter Box viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before…

Get called to fly out fo state for work on a moment's notice Stay up till 2am working on a new business pitch with your coworkers Deliver the pitch at the crack of dawn Fly home next to someone who is clearly wearing perfume as a body glaze Ensure that you get a seat on the sold out flight facing the setting sun Go from the airport straight to the optician to pick up new glasses, which incidentally, are your first time wearing bifocals Attempt to see viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap…

Problem: When I travel, or need to wear a nice suit for a client meeting, I somehow end up wearing my toothpaste as a fashion accessory. I can brush in the nude, then shower and still get toothpaste down my sternum. Solutions: Full body armour Cease brushing Hire a hot dental hygienist to brush for me. I'm not certain her being hot will aid in avoiding an oral mess, and … I believe I've said too much already Brush underwater Wear suits made from toothpaste. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy…

I had to capture the speaker's visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it's at least recognizable. Man in photo: "I'm just saying… I'd eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online…

If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?

Woman in line at Starbucks: "May I have a tall uh, that cararmel drink?" Barista: "Macchiato?" Woman: "Knock-uh-tanno?" Barista: "Macchiato." Woman: "Tach-uh-nano? One more time please?" Barista: [sigh] "Macchiato." Woman: "I apologize. Those Japanese names really throw me."