Category: Observations
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Caption Time #207
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OK, OK. You can upload pics of your butt.
I’ve received numerous comments and emails requesting the ability for you lovely readers to upload photos. That’s coming, believe me. In the meantime, I started a fan page on Facebook for Fans of Davezilla, the Zilla Girls and Zilla Guys. Feel free to upload all manner of personal pics there until I get this site…
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More people we dislike #17
The Brotherhood of Bikers: In my town, there is a rather extensive gang of “Christian Bikers” known collectively as Riders for the Son. Perhaps I didn’t pay enough attention in Sunday School, but I don’t recall Jesus requesting his followers to ride Harleys and fuck shit up. I am Metrosexual. Hear me score. Look, I…
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Complete this sentence, #38
“I did not have implants, I just had a _______________” —Britney Spears viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra…
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More people we dislike #16
Children that have a complete meltdown in public and need to be dragged out because the little apes refuse to use their God-given legs. Sell these future Wal-Mart greeters on the Black Market. Or eBay. Do it now. Anyone who needs more than five attempts to parallel park. These inbreds need to have their licenses…
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My loony bun is fine Benny lava
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You dick!
I don’t know what’s with kids these days. A young girl approaches me as I am working at my laptop at Starbucks. She tells me she is in second grade and would I like to buy some candy bars for her school. Me: “Sure, how much are they?” Girl: “They three dollar each or three…
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Additional flushes
That this is necessary scares me. BTW, I nixed the Rate Everything widget. I know a lot of you use it, but it wreaks havoc on some browsers and slows the site down terribly. If I find a better star rating widget for WordPress, I will try it out. Suggestions are welcome. viagra free viagra…
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Note to Self, No. 7,014
No matter how nice it looks, the next time we paint a room, we are not painting the bloody radiators.
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Terms that annoy me for various reasons
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Things you probably should avoid doing at the border patrol booth
When asked if you have food to declare, ask if human remains count. Tell the patrol official to, “kindly hurry the fuck up.” “No. You cannot look in my trunk. I just met you.” As proof of ID, supply a pact with Satan written in blood. “I’ll have a double cheeseburger and a large Coke.”…
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