“I did not have implants, I just had a _______________” —Britney Spears

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78 thoughts on “Complete this sentence, #38

  1. I did not have implants, I just had a Skittles injection by Dr. Nick. Part of the reason that I left Fed is because he said they didn’t taste any different. Madonna likes to hunt for the blue ones and roll them around with her tongue. You want one? I can even pop ’em outa my nipples now.

  2. [Comment ID #210594 will be quoted here]

    Hey Nicolette, I love the Bloom County avatar. Reminds me of the good ole days when Opus, Milo, Bill, and Steve graced the daily paper.

  3. I did not have implants. I just had a really fine massage from the leprechaun I caught in my back yard by the pool. She was so gentle and gracious, and kissed so-o-o fine .. um .. well, I guess I drifted off after we .. uh .. anyway, when I woke up and found my swimsuit and towels and cell phone and robe and everything, and took a shower and my breasts had just *grown*.

    Thank goodness the green handprints on Lefty faded after a couple of weeks, and Really! I had no idea keeping Granny Panties on for like, Everything! would be such a total torment, but you know, I couldn’t let anyone see the green hand print down *there*, like, you know? And for a whole 12 days, more than two freaking weeks to have to think every time I saw someone, “Now, do we have the panties on *today*?!” I mean, really, how could anyone cope with keeping their knickers on all the time?

    And, yes, I am looking forward to St. Patricks Day!

  4. “I did not have implants, I just had a couple of rug rats. Look, my thighs are huge too! Have you seen the size of my ass lately? Yes, well tell me about it. I can’t see the whole thing from my side anymore. Every time I try I end up spinning around like a fricking dog chasing his tail. I am so dizzy. I gotta frow up”. BUURP!

  5. [Comment ID #210598 will be quoted here]

    Thanks Steve. The thinly veiled humorous social commentary of Bloom County usually made my day back then. (Plus, Steve Dallas Quitting smoking was hilarious!)

  6. “I did not have implants, I just had a K Fed removed”—Britney Spears

    “I did not have implants, I just had my favorite tennis balls put close tomy heart” —Britney Spears

    “I did not have implants, I just had a whole lot of crazy just blow up in my chest” —Britney Spears

    “I did not have implants, I just had a bee sting. See, look how many times my ass has been stung!” —Britney Spears

  7. “I did not have implants, I just had a really bad cold and all that coughing made my breasts grow bigger. Kinda like exercise for the boobies, ya know?” —Twitney Spears

  8. “I did not have implants, I just had a boozy night a few months back when Kevin let me fall asleep without switchin’ off the electric breast pump. Whoowee, the next mornin’ I wuz two shoe sizes smaller.”

  9. I did not have implants, uh, what were we talking about, I seem to be breathing collagen fumes from my upper lip. Or maybe I’m just in cheeto withdrawal. Anybody seen them tricycle motors I popped out? I think it’s my weekend. 😈 Poor Britney.

  10. [Comment ID #210601 will be quoted here]

    Pear pimples for hairy fishnuts!

    Okay, now you’ve done it. I’m going to have to dig out my old Bloom County books and spend the weekend snickering to myself.

    It will be a good to spend some time in the dandelion patch again.

  11. “I did not have implants, I just had a cheeseburger, fries, and a diet coke. Oh wait you mean my boobs?” —Britney Spears

  12. I did not have implants I just had another accident with the paparazzi and my airbags went off

    I did not have implants uh well oops I did it again….

  13. “I did not have implants, I just had a new way to carry around that overgrown rat I call a dog.” —Britney Spears

  14. “I did not have implants, I just had a visit from my tooth fairy’s cousin, the Boob Fairy…” 😈

    [Comment ID #210613 will be quoted here]

    Or spend some time in your Anxiety Closet with Milquetoast the cockroach… 😆

  15. [Comment ID #210889 will be quoted here]

    Nice to see we’ve got some fans in the audience. Anyone else? Anyone … ?

  16. “I did not have implants…oh ..wait…WTF!!
    Wouldn’t you know it, I go out one night without my panties and all of a sudden …my boobs are bigger and so is my ass.

  17. “I did not have a breast implant. I had the #3, extra crispy with mashed, gravy, a biscuit, and and a side of slaw!”

  18. Bloom County: Before Berkley Breathed complied his strips into books, I had written him a fan letter. He sent me a post card ‘thank you note’, with a drawing of Opus in the corner. I still have it!!! I also have a plush “Opus”. I don’t think alot of people do…

  19. [Comment ID #210890 will be quoted here]

    I’ll be joining W.A. Thornhump III for a 6 martini lunch today. Care to join?? We’ll be enjoying the soothing sounds of Billy and the Boingers! I have that record too!

  20. [Comment ID #210946 will be quoted here]

    And all the youngins around here are shaking their heads, saying wtf and googling our posts. Who needs WMDs when we have the X-17 Stealth Basselope!

  21. Ummm … Mandy? Can I get that avatar in a wallpaper-sized version please? 1680×1050 would do nicely. kthxbai

  22. If Mandy’s avatar is accurate, she doesn’t need
    any implants. :wang: :wang: :wang:

    Could y’all flush your toilets more often? We’re
    running short of water here in the Peach State. 🙁 🙁 😛 😛

  23. [Comment ID #210949 will be quoted here]

    They’d just end up kissing again, but Steve Dallas would definitely approve of the three B’s – Buicks, Broads, and Bourbon.

  24. [Comment ID #210951 will be quoted here]

    Not now,… I am listening to “Clearasil Messiah” and that classic teen anthem, “Let’s roll over Lionel Ritchey with a Tank” with the giant Purple Snorkelwacker!

  25. [Comment ID #210951 will be quoted here]

    Shhhhh…I am listening to “Clearasil Messiah” and “Let’s Run Over Lionel Ritchie With a Tank” with the Giant Purple Snorkelwacker! “Snugglebunnies!”

  26. [Comment ID #210945 will be quoted here]

    I agree! Those are some really sweet cheeks Mandy! Totally spankable, wouldn’t you agree Mistress Darla? 😈

  27. [Comment ID #210957 will be quoted here]

    We need to see yours again in order to do a proper side by side comparison. Once again, please submit your avatar in a wallpaper-sized version please? 1680×1050 would do nicely. kthxbai

  28. [Comment ID #210967 will be quoted here]

    Gimme – gimme – gimmee :wang:

    Now if you’ll excuse me for a moment, I have to wipe off my keyboard… :wtf:

  29. [Comment ID #210957 will be quoted here]

    Absolutely! Those cheeks are just begging for a spanking. 😈

    [Comment ID #210967 will be quoted here]


  30. [Comment ID #210965 will be quoted here]
    How about all the ZillaGirls… Talk about your ’21 Bun Salute’… :wang:

    Mandy, you are the real deal. You don’t post often, but when you do, you tend to get all the guys by the short&curlies… 😛
    [Comment ID #210951 will be quoted here]
    How about when he won the contest to star in a Tess Turbo video? As his mom said, say hello to the sex gargoyle and his flammable, fluffy chest hair… :mrgreen:

  31. [Comment ID #211209 will be quoted here]

    Yeah, but you’re so gooooood at it! 😛

    That really is almost mesmerizing! It took me ten minutes to stop gazing at it and get back to typing this comment.

    Looks like some of you guys could pony up with something “interesting” for us to look at … :wang:

  32. [Comment ID #211316 will be quoted here]

    Just another day of living up to the Zillaland byline. That, and trying to drum up some pear pimples for hairy fishnuts. You know … the usual stuff. :java:

  33. [Comment ID #211322 will be quoted here]

    Speaking of things I’d like to beat, where’s that weekend avatar of yours been hiding lately?

  34. [Comment ID #211316 will be quoted here]
    Who are you kidding, Dave? What you’ve done here is the same as leaving 15-20 3-5 year olds alone in a room with a cosmetic case and/or a stocked gun safe (both wide open),closing the door and then thinking ‘I wonder what could POSSIBLY happen in there…’ 😈

  35. [Comment ID #211306 will be quoted here]
    Mandy, based on that last picture you sent in (see ‘Move along, nothing to see here’ on 19Oct07) where your guys are stacked three deep, you don’t seem to be missing out in the ‘sausage’ department… 😆

  36. You know?… I’m not sure? I could be wrong. Correct me if I am, but I think there just might be one or two or so inaccuracies in that there Devils Food Dictionary thingy.

  37. [Comment ID #211454 will be quoted here]


    And once again, please submit it in a wallpaper-sized version please? 1680×1050 would do nicely. kthxbai

  38. [Comment ID #211316 will be quoted here]

    Whatever it is, it’s about frickin time! 😈 :wang:

    Okay, everyone in to the rubber room! Bring your baby oil with you and leave your clothes at the door.

    Zillagirls first – and guys, please form the honor guard salute for the ladies :wang:

  39. excuse me people this wont take too long…Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang:Nicolette :wang: :wang:Mandy :wang: :wang: 😈 :undies: :thong: :dead: 😀

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