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09 January, 2008Posted inObservations40 Comments
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Ameriker

07 January, 2008Posted inObservations32 Comments
(Apologies if your RSS feeds got a post that isn't there. It's on the redesign site, which is now 99% done and working, so if you're testing the new site, it's there.) We now return you to your regularly scheduled humor. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free…

2008 New Years Resolutions

01 January, 2008Posted inObservations34 Comments
Longtime readers know that the every year I post my resolutions and ask for yours. I like to make mine easily achievable. You know, aim low and finish the year having achieved all of them. I resolve not to smear jelly on the face of my enemies. I resolve not to run naked through the office when I don’t get my way. Anymore. I resolve not to commit acts of genocide. Unless an island of spammers is found, in which case it’s open season! I resolve not to run out of coffee. I resolve not to be caught whistling Dixie.…

And furthermore… Part II

30 December, 2007Posted inObservations35 Comments
After the chair debacle, Liz and I sat down in chairs from polite persons of less than great intelligence. An hour or so later, we saw someone else approach the rude genius from Channel 4. A portly woman, dressed rather like a peasant or Renaissance Festival employee. Being somewhat large, she was possessed of—to put it bluntly—a large rack. This is important to note for later on. She carried on a long conversation with the genius and we rightfully ignored them. Suddenly Liz poked me. "Look at the freak couple. Now." I turned to see the left breast of the…

And furthermore… Part I

29 December, 2007Posted inObservations29 Comments
I really need to take a camera with me every time I have coffee with my friend Liz. We see the best freaks. Tonight topped them. Ever go to a coffeehouse, it’s really crowded so you find an empty table with not enough chairs? Then you hunt around to see if anyone isn’t using all the chairs at their table? Well that. So we got our drinks and Liz found a great table with no chairs. I spy a man sitting alone with an ancient, underpowered Mac laptop and walk over. Me: “Excuse me, sir. Is it cool if I…

Last minute gift ideas

24 December, 2007Posted inObservations25 Comments
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Complete this sentence, #41

23 December, 2007Posted inObservations26 Comments
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Worst ringtones ever

21 December, 2007Posted inObservations53 Comments
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Words mangled by last night’s waitress

18 December, 2007Posted inObservations38 Comments
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Worst “Secret Santa” gifts

14 December, 2007Posted inObservations25 Comments
Longtime reader Marcus recently told me of the worst “Secret Santa” gift he ever received: ”I once received a black beaded woman's handbag. I guess they were thinking a woman would get the gift.” I have never had much luck one way or the other in those. I’ve only been in three. The first time I participated in one, the spending limit was US$25, which I generously exceeded. In return, I got a pack of gum. In the other two, I was somehow forgotten and went home empty-handed. What’s the worst Secret Santa gift you’ve ever received? Link of the…

How you know you’ve been on Facebook too long

11 December, 2007Posted inObservations47 Comments
Your friends routinely throw sheep at you. You do not find this at all disturbing. You start dreaming your friends are all werewolves and you’re a vampire. You do not slayall of them as you need at least one to play Scrabulous with. You’ve groped, dry-humped, licked and trout-slapped 190 women that you’ve never met in person. Your Facebook profile has more apps than your computer does. The majority of the text messages you receive are friends’ status updates. Apologies for the 14 lost comments. Had a database bork on this post. Had to delete it. Sorry!viagra free viagra buy…

Risky presents to give your in-laws

10 December, 2007Posted inObservations39 Comments
Lube Lifesize nude portrait of yourself and your spouse The Satanic Bible His and Hers Matching Thongs Black Velvet Oil Painting of a Clown Slash fiction about your inlaws The Collected Works of GG Allin Chocolate poop in a diaper What gifts do you think are risky? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free…