Category: Observations

  • New takes on old phrases

    Try using some of these in a business meeting, or with a customer this week. Shit or get off the Pope It’s not pocket science It is what it was A jack of all maids Like white on color Familiarity breeds mice Don’t rock the goat The show must grow lawns Caught with his pants…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Tourism Rule No. 23: Blend In

    Call me picky, but this isn’t how one blends in when wandering about Detroit.

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Air Travel Probability

    At the exact moment you choose to use the airplane lavatory, the fasten seat belt light will come on The size of the persons on either side of you are directly proportional to the amount of claustrophobia you exhibit The more sleep deprived you are, the more the person next to you will talk (loudly)…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Friday Saturday Question #11

      Have you ever tried to fasten your seatbelt and realized you were in an ordinary chair?  

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Things I Learned from Movies, Police Chiefs

    What have you learned about Police Chiefs?

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • More People We Can Safely Dislike #21

    The person(s) responsible for the musical selections playing ambiently in malls Indecisive lane-riders People who buy 398 items, freak out at the total, then force the cashier to remove each item one at a time until they can afford it Ann Coulter (always) Those who doubt the awesomeness of Kenny Powers People who cannot stop…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Overheard

    Girl 1: “I said ‘Ew!’ Like ‘Oh!’ with an accent.” Girl 2: “Oh.” Girl 1: “Yeah, but ‘ew’.” [slight pause as they look at boy on street] Girl 1: “So I lost my panties at Jane’s but I bought some new ones. So it’s OK.” Girl 2: “You did?” Girl 1: “OK, so super cute.…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • How to Perplex Waitstaff

    Last night, Chris Brogan, Amber Naslund, Lizz and myself were at one of those social media speaker suck-up dinners. We found the following ways to amuse ourselves during an otherwise stiff uneventful dinner party. After they remove the salad plates, hide all flatware, placemats and napkins. Look longingly at the other place settings. After receiving…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • No drunk texting, please

    Everyone has that drunk friend. You know the one. Great person until alcohol has been imbibed. And everyone has a different reaction to alcohol. I’m Irish. I hate to stereotype my ancestors, but goddamn can we put it away! I never believed I could drink a lot until I started noticing that all my friends…

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #16

      Twitter: Brilliant social app, or the fastest way to annoy friends ever devised?  

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #15

      Is it really swine flu, or a government coverup to hide the real threat: Battle Toads!  

    Written by

    Davezilla

  • Friday Question #14

      Where did you hide it?  

    Written by

    Davezilla