As has been the custom on this site since 1994, I am posting my New Years Resolutions. I try to make mine easily attainable so I don’t get down on myself midway through the year.
- I resolve not to accept a Sloppy Joe from a Maori Cannibal
- I resolve not to incite our distant cousins—the Langurs—into an all-out revolt against their human overlords
- I resolve not to invent a beer called Stupid Douchebags Enjoying Time Off With Their Relatives
- I resolve not to watch any shows starring Howie Mandel, Rachel Ray or Abe Vigoda
- I resolve not to dress and act like a Drum Major in front of potential clients
- I resolve not to get a Tay Zonday tattoo
- I resolve not to dress like my pets
- I resolve not to grow vestigial limbs on my body
- I resolve to post more often in 2009 (for reals)
- What are your New Years Resolutions?
All senior citizen couples live on the beach, are both still living and have a Golden Retriever
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