Year: 2005

Someone pointed me to the second in a series of products that I simply do not grasp. This one being Preggie and Queasy Pops. I shit you not. Preggie Pops are alleged to ease morning sickness. This is no doubt a great relief to many women who will wonder if they cause pregnancy. I wonder,…

Never, under any circumstances, get catnip mixed into an omelette. Tastes like steel.

Do not leave the iron on for 36 hours. Seriously. How did you not notice that?

Grandson: “Do you have a conscience, grampa?” Grandfather: “Of course I do, Ronnie. Everyone does.” Grandson: “Oh.” Grandson: “How big are they?”

Someone, somewhere though that adding LEDs to slippers was a bright idea (pun intended). I don’t care. I really don’t. I won’t buy them, and I reserve the right to laugh openly at those who do. Here’s my issue. It’s billed as, “the perfect gift for any occasion”. Any occasion? Seriously, if your neighbor just…

Let’s face it. Some names damn children to a life of teasing. For instance: Jasper [M] = “Please don’t beat me up. Again.” Dawn [F] = “After I make the cheerleading squad, I’m joining Up with People.” Wilbur [M] = “Earn extra money doing cartoon voices. Hmm.” Cheyenne [F] = “Mom? Guess what? I just…