Story Problem
If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?
Take only what’s necessary
In the event of a hurricane, take only what's necessary: Toilet Paper, Bud Light, Keystone Ice, Budweiser, Red Dog, and a piece of plywood to float the ole lady on.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra…
Overheard: Knock-a-tano Edition
Woman in line at Starbucks: "May I have a tall uh, that cararmel drink?" Barista: "Macchiato?" Woman: "Knock-uh-tanno?" Barista: "Macchiato." Woman: "Tach-uh-nano? One more time please?" Barista: [sigh] "Macchiato." Woman: "I apologize. Those Japanese names really throw me."
Where does the time go?
We've all asked ourself the question, "Where does the time go?" I think I have the answer to that question. Look at the photo below: It's quite obvious. Troy is stealing time from the rest of us. How else could they be the city of tomorrow, today?
New Old Wives’ Tales to scare children with
Seeing an ambulance is very unlucky and if you see one, it's coming to take mommy and daddy away. Forever. A bird flying in the house means you won't have a birthday this year. If you blow out all the candles on your birthday cake with the first puff you will get your wish. If you fail, all your presents will be sent to starving children in China who will eat them. If your cheeks suddenly feel on fire, someone is telling your parents that you are failing in school. It's bad luck to pick up a coin if it's…
Caption Time #76
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The Surgeon General has determined…
…drinking glass cleaner will not turn you invisible …smoking toothpaste may give you minty-fresh cancer cells …shaving with expanding urethane foam will require a much longer razor What have you heard from the Surgeon General?
Usable wall color
Our new landlord is rather fond of shall we say, vibrant wall colors. Our new hallway colors appear to be chosen from the cover of one of Jakob Nielsen's usability books.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic…
Happy birthday, soda lover
I was nine and going to my grandmother's for my birthday. I loved going to my grandmother's house. It was creaky, dark and she had children's books dating back to the 1920s. The only odd thing about her was her recipes were … unexpected, to say the least. This particular birthday, I was dropped off to spend the weekend at my grandmother's with my cousin, whose birthday was a few days before mine. She made a cake for both of us. "Do you like chocolate cake, boys?" Silly question. Of course we did. She returned with a cake with strange…
Overheard: Carpet Cleaners Edition
Carpet Cleaner #1: "Dude, you ever been to Screaming Eagle Casino?" Carpet Cleaner #2: "Do you mean, Soaring Eagle?" CC #1: "Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaah, that one. I been there last week and I wasn't s'pposed to be cause I'm on probation still." CC #2: "What the Hell for? CC #1: "Oh, my ole lady turn me in cause I shit in her sock." CC #2: "The Hell. Just for that? CC #2: "Wait. This the same broad that made you a cake outta watermelon?" CC #1: "No, this is another one. Jill, man. I'll shit in her sock again tonight if she…
Poopybara
Long-time reader Nikki snapped this glamour shot of a Capybara with a umm, foreign substance on his nose.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra…
Cindy says
I apologize for not having a photo to accompany this post. Really. The best freak in my entire Freak Watching career apears and I am without camera. Shameful. For weeks now, the baristas at a certain major coffee chain have been bugging me to get a photograph of Joan. Joan is a transvestite, which to me does not qualify as a freak. I see nothing wrong with cross-dressing. Then I met Joan. Picture Abe Vigoda in a skirt. Add a second-hand, puce sweater and dowdy, brown skirt. Oh, and a talking purse named Cindy. Cindy doesn't really talk, or at…
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