The Surgeon General has determined…

  1. …drinking glass cleaner will not turn you invisible
  2. …smoking toothpaste may give you minty-fresh cancer cells
  3. …shaving with expanding urethane foam will require a much longer razor

What have you heard from the Surgeon General?

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comment 21 comments
  • Sir Osiss

    1. A free bottle in front of me beats a prefrontal lobotomy

    2. Catching a bullet in your teeth is possible…ONCE!

    3. Drinking copious amounts of bourbon for 30 years entitles you to use a moniker like mine on the internet.

    4. Listening for music coming from a womans breast can result in being slapped, and/or being held for observation. (of course, in 15 years I won’t be hearing ANYTHING, much less boob music…wait…when will you be able to watch TV on a REAL boob tube???!!)

  • lee

    … don’t eat rocks!

    … turning your car into oncoming traffic is counterproductive

    … using a blow-dryer in the shower will probably speed things up, but NOT in the way you’d want it to

  • amanda

    Reading Blogs @ work may give you boot-in-the-ass-itis.

  • amanda

    Running in traffic may cause you to become flat :dead:

  • Spud

    The Surgeon General has determined..

    1. All trains will be late
    2. It will cost more than you thought
    3. All beer is good

    :geek:

  • amanda

    Did the Surgeon General sample All Beer to know that it’s good??? 😀 I will have to try that one for myself! 😆

  • Wendy

    First they talk about making breat implants out odf the same substance as gummy bears..now a radio in the implants?? Soon you will have the choice of eating themor listening to them…hmm..makes me glad mine are big enough to not need any of that mess. :boobs::boobs:

  • amanda

    If ya need a wrist-band for it, why not just put the music chip in the wrist band??? Saves on slapping the perv’s who want to listen-in. :wtf:

  • rust

    The Gurgeon Sentinel has determined that adding Papermate or other non-dairy “creamer” to yer STARBUCKS coffee instead of the Real Thing will not stave off dyslipidemia, but rather form a paintball the size of Idaho in your gullet.

  • amanda

    ICK!!!:dead:

  • amanda

    Are ya tryin’ that beer thing right now Rust :wtf:

  • Nina

    😀 I love how they make the music chip being implanted into a woman’s breast sound like it could save their lives as well! Is that to make those of use who think it’s ludacris change our minds because it has health benifits with it? 😕 What will they come up with next?

  • Jeff

    Like men really need anouther reason to stick there heads in between a womans breasts. Hey… you don’t have to need it to love it!:wang:

  • Nique

    surgeon general said you can put beans in your nose and inbetween your toes but not in your ears because it pervents you from hearing what your pearents have to say!!!:idea:

  • Pinky

    I wonder where the recharge plug will go?:boobs:

  • CJ

    Classic, Pinky, classic! I am laughing my ass off right now at the image of that tampon-like device being plugged into the wall and the user with some girl wondering how long it will take to get a full charge because she’s got to meet her date in half an hour!

  • greenfireyes

    Soooo – do you do the nipple twist to change songs?:wtf:

  • Dawn

    ha ha greenfireeyes!!
    Tune in tokyo, tune in tokyo!!:boobs::boobs:

  • judy

    :boobs:DO NOTTT, I REPEATTT!!! DO! NOT! TOUCH MY DIALS

  • Cherish

    MP3 player breast implant may require a pair of 38 Double D Batteries.

  • greenfireyes

    So how do you keep songs from changing while one runs? :boobs::boobs::razz:

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