Year: 2005

  • Note to Self: 5,290

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  • Little-known facts

    Pugs may appear to be friendly dogs, but at night they eat babies and mints. Benjamin Franklin invented the sigh. Ronald McDonald was based on a old Scottish faery tale. In the story, Ruach McDougall, was a sabre-toothed ogre who grilled ferrets and served them between two pieces of crusty bread. Prior to the Council…

  • Turtleneck

    Spotted one of the most unusual freaks this evening. A tall man, chinless and withered. Think Galapagos Tortoise in trendy evening wear. Not that trendy was any indication of taste. Turtle Boy was probably 170 years old, judging by the remaining tufts of white hair, which encirlced his stone-shaped head like a Sumo wrestler’s Mawashi.…

  • Complete this sentence #21

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  • I do the Ben Stiller site

    I met someone at the coffeehouse today who claimed to know me. HIM: “You do the websites, right buddy?” ME: “Yes, I do.” HIM: “Yeah, I heard about you. You do that funny site with the monkeys and clown-devil things.” ME: “Nnnnnnoooooo. That doesn’t sound like anything I’ve done.” HIM: “Don’t you that Ben Stiller…

  • Worst roommate ever

    Write about Worst roommate ever here. This man is quite simply the worst roommate in history. His requirements for a roommate are so severe and exacting, that he makes the perfect target for nonstop torture. Read his requirements, then after beating your head into a wall, return here to leave more torture ideas. I would…

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  • Perhaps I’m reading too much into this…

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  • Pope to star in upcoming Star Wars film

    Despite news stories that he is in ill health and receiving last rites, Pope John Paul II is starring in several action films this summer, including Lucas’ newest effort as an ancient Jedi master. This summer, he is slated to appear in the next Harry Potter film, and finally, he will appear as The Thing…