Month: October 2005

Fresh out of ideas for Halloween costumes? Allow me to help: Ennui A Braille Newspaper The Grassy Knoll A Widget Aisle 14 of Wal-Mart Voicemail The Ghost in the Machine The Bell Curve Nepotism Schrodinger’s Cat Litter Box viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy…

Get called to fly out fo state for work on a moment’s notice Stay up till 2am working on a new business pitch with your coworkers Deliver the pitch at the crack of dawn Fly home next to someone who is clearly wearing perfume as a body glaze Ensure that you get a seat on…

Problem: When I travel, or need to wear a nice suit for a client meeting, I somehow end up wearing my toothpaste as a fashion accessory. I can brush in the nude, then shower and still get toothpaste down my sternum. Solutions: Full body armour Cease brushing Hire a hot dental hygienist to brush for…

I had to capture the speaker’s visage for you, dear readers, so you may avoid this person, should your paths ever cross. Not the best photo, but it’s at least recognizable. Man in photo: “I’m just saying… I’d eat a newborn if it came between me starving and that.” viagra free viagra buy viagra online…

If Tom has three times as many testicles as Susan, and Susan has one-fourth as many ovaries as Joe, how many BBQ ribs does Mary have, if she has two more Ouija Boards than Tom?

Woman in line at Starbucks: “May I have a tall uh, that cararmel drink?” Barista: “Macchiato?” Woman: “Knock-uh-tanno?” Barista: “Macchiato.” Woman: “Tach-uh-nano? One more time please?” Barista: [sigh] “Macchiato.” Woman: “I apologize. Those Japanese names really throw me.”