Things I learned from watching the Sci Fi network

Maglites are to be held near the head, in a knife stabbing position. Astronauts and aquanauts require lights on the inside of their helmets, facing their eyes Rich women wear heels in the jungle. They help with balance and aid in escaping predators. Humans can outsmart any alien species, no matter how advanced, no matter how telepathic. All you need to do is say, “They’ll never see this coming!” If a single US Marine taunts his enemies into using “everything they’ve got” against him, he will have no trouble killing all of them. They however, will only manage to graze…

I’M STILL LOOKING FOR THAT BLUE TARP!

Amazingly, the following is not from the Sultan of Cleveland: PLEASE!!! SOMEBODY GET RID OF MY NEIGBORS!!!!! THEY ARE AGGRAVATING, ANNOYING, DISRESPECTFUL, AND ON JULY 12 THRETENED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME! WHAT A NEIGHBOR? HER SON GETS ALL SCARED WHEN HE SEES ME COMING OUT OF THE FOREST. SO HE RUNS BACK HOME. I RIDE PAST HIS HOUSE AND SAY "WHAT? YOU GOT SCARED?" HE MUMBLES SOMTHING AND GOES INSIDE TO TELL HIS MOM. I PUT MY BIKE IN THE DRIVEWAY AND HIS MOM DRIVES BYE AND STARTS SCREAMING AT, CUSS WORDS FLYIN. SHE SAID" OH, I…

Lubed, for her protection?

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Overheard: Stupidity edition

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Complete this Sentence, #37

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Note to Self, No. 6,991

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Note to Self, No. 6,990

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How to raise the national alcoholism rate of:

Canada: Bacon-flavoured beer Cuba: Black-bean Mojitos United States: Fast food-flavoured light beer Australia: Vegemite-flavoured beer England: Curry-flavored Pims Ireland: No need to raise it any further Sweden: Lutefisk vodka Nigeria: Yam shots Mexico: Pepper-flavoured tequila. Oh wait. They have that. Which ones did I miss? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without…

Your seed must leave your hand

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She’s such a dog

Over the years, I have seen several marginally funny lists of why men are like dogs and women are like cats. I propose the opposite. Men are more like cats and women are more like dogs. I offer my reasons below. Please add any I missed (or disagree). Men are like cats because: When you need them, they suddenly go deaf to their name being called Both clean their feet by kicking dirt in every direction They have no reservations about climbing on furniture, shelves, walls… Both like resting on women's breasts, hips Getting licked by one is often a…

The Wong Way

I never win anything. My brother is the lucky one in the family. He got the Irish good looks and luck. He wins at football and casinos. I have to work for a living. So I was pleasantly surprised to hear that I had won an iPod! I'd been beta testing for Mister Wong, a very cool bookmarking site that has until recently, only been available in Europe. I was a beta tester for the English version which was recently released. When the testing period ended, I won an 8 GB iPod Nano, a Mister Wong polo shirt and a…

Her job?

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