The Size of You’re Entire Body

I just received a spam entitled, “Make You’re Penis the Size of You’re Entire Body!!!!!” Ignoring the atrocious punctuation errors, this message is troubling on several levels. First off, I’m six-foot three. Having a penis of equal length could pose some serious tactical issues. How would I store it when not in use? I could […]

Comfortable in public

Maven’s recent post about the homeless man jerking off in public reminded me of a similar experience I had. No, I wasn’t a homeless, black man. Way back in the day, when Detroit had an awesome indie scene, I went to see Echo and the Bunnymen at St. Andrews Hall. Typical of most old concert […]

Prepare to be frightened

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Overheard

Boyfriend: “I didn’t know umbrella was a five syllable word in Detroit.” Girlfriend: “Duh!” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices […]

I HAS A SUPR POWR

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Cintron Tip #34: The Dude Test

Now, normally I wouldn’t pimp out a video we did at the agency, but this one is fucking hilarious and it stars my partner Jason Macemore. [MNSFW] viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for […]

And this week’s Fucktard Award goes to…

Michelle Madigan, for thinking she is smarter than the hackers at DEFCON. Sorry, Michelle. These are the brightest minds in the United States. You aren’t. I should mention that I have been a member of DEFCON for years; I even did the logo for DEFCON Groups, so if I take schadenfreude over this, you will […]

Note to Self, No. 7,000

You’ve been drinking beer (legally) for 22 years now. It’s about time you learned to drink beer from a bottle without backing up the carbonation and causing a beer fountain on the table. Seriously. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra […]

Fun with Joggers

As the jogger passes you on the sidewalk, tear a strip of cloth quickly and see if they stop to check their pants for rips. Hide in the bushes of a quiet street with an airhorn. Hold up a score card as they pass you with a very low number. Act disappointed. Run out in […]

Don’t mind if I do

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Top Harry Potter Spoilers

Those puckish Weasley twins cast Fentwigg’s Ever-Growing Erection Spell on Harry, getting him expelled. Malfoy decides he can make a fortune selling magical strains of marijuana to the muggles. He runs a cartel of Dementors and lives in a mansion in Bogota, Columbia. Hagrid is caught in a compromising position with a hippogriff and subsequently […]

Overheard: Under the table edition

Waiter: “Well you certainly did a good job. That burrito was huge! I can’t believe you ate all of it.” Old lady: “I’m 90, young man. I have eaten hundreds of men under the table in my time.” Waiter: [suppressing laughter] “TMI!” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap […]

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