Tag: Observations

  • Note to Self: 5,290

    Next time you drop buttered popcorn in a glass of Perrier by mistake, retrieve it within one second or pour the glass out. Blecch. Five second rule does not apply here. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples…

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    Davezilla

  • Little-known facts

    Pugs may appear to be friendly dogs, but at night they eat babies and mints. Benjamin Franklin invented the sigh. Ronald McDonald was based on a old Scottish faery tale. In the story, Ruach McDougall, was a sabre-toothed ogre who grilled ferrets and served them between two pieces of crusty bread. Prior to the Council…

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    Davezilla

  • Complete this sentence #21

    Losing your Internet cable connection is worse than being ________ by a _______ . viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices…

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  • I do the Ben Stiller site

    I met someone at the coffeehouse today who claimed to know me. HIM: “You do the websites, right buddy?” ME: “Yes, I do.” HIM: “Yeah, I heard about you. You do that funny site with the monkeys and clown-devil things.” ME: “Nnnnnnoooooo. That doesn’t sound like anything I’ve done.” HIM: “Don’t you that Ben Stiller…

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    Davezilla

  • Worst roommate ever

    Write about Worst roommate ever here. This man is quite simply the worst roommate in history. His requirements for a roommate are so severe and exacting, that he makes the perfect target for nonstop torture. Read his requirements, then after beating your head into a wall, return here to leave more torture ideas. I would…

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    Davezilla

  • Perhaps I’m reading too much into this…

    Or maybe I just needed coffe, but I really thought my shaving gel looked like a Genie this morning. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra…

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  • Fries with that?

    It was the third Wednesday of the month and that meant the department was having its monthly lunch at the Boobatorium. It isn’t really called that. It’s sort of a poor man’s Hooters. The typical sports bar you’d see in any town, except that the waitresses wear less than many swimsuit models. Our waitress’s breasts…

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    Davezilla

  • The first one’s always free

    You may be hooked emotionally and psychologically. You may have developed a physical dependence, too. If you’re addicted to Flickr — whether it’s legal or illegal — you have intense cravings for it. You want to use it again and again. When you stop seeing your photostream for even ten minutes, you may have unpleasant…

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    Davezilla

  • Story problem

    You have two cats. Each cat weighs about 8 pounds. Each cat eats 1/2 pound of dry food per week, Each cat also has its own litterbox with 20 pounds of litter. When you go to change the litterboxes, the litter in each box weighs 38 pounds. How is this possible? viagra free viagra buy…

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  • Rottweilers, cats and Q-Tips

    Last night, the lovely Natalie and I had dinner with the adorably witty Melissa and her charming husband, Logan. Those two are quite a pair and kept us laughing all night. Her retelling of the evening is far better than I could do, so please read her version. She includes an excellent description of our…

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    Davezilla

  • Meet the Americans No. 2

    Phyllis Glabstrubber. Phyllis Glabstrubber. American. Bunions are acting up again. The glasses help smelling flowers. Never paying $4.95 for a lousy paperback again. Bra is too tight. Dying for a Virginia Slims 100. Nope, don’t like the Pepsi Clear, either. Call that a dog? Damn kids. Toilet papered the trees again last night. Shoe’s coming…

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    Davezilla

  • Open letter to the heavyset woman next to me on the plane

    Dear Heavyset, You sat next to me in the first class section of flight 427 this evening. I wasn’t ruffled when you accidentally dropped your lead-filled carry-on bag on my crotch. I stifled a scream when you dropped your styrofoam cup of scalding decaf on my kneecap. I resisted the urge to break your pinky…

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    Davezilla