Facebook apps I want to see

Auto Ignore: Getting too many app requests? Not only will this app ignore all requests from your annoying so-called friends, it will simultaneously remove the app from their profile. Fun! Great FunWall of China: Like FunWall, but with more restrictions. A lot more. It’s really not all that fun, come to think of it. Don’t […]

Ameriker

(Apologies if your RSS feeds got a post that isn’t there. It’s on the redesign site, which is now 99% done and working, so if you’re testing the new site, it’s there.) We now return you to your regularly scheduled humor. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra […]

And furthermore… Part II

After the chair debacle, Liz and I sat down in chairs from polite persons of less than great intelligence. An hour or so later, we saw someone else approach the rude genius from Channel 4. A portly woman, dressed rather like a peasant or Renaissance Festival employee. Being somewhat large, she was possessed of—to put […]

Lamest Super-powers to have, Part II

I would like super powers. Nothing too fancy, mind you. Just minor abilities to get me through the week. The ability to see through chocolates to the fillings before taking a bite The ability to sense road construction in time to catch an alternate route The ability to psychically detect which cashier is the fastest […]

Worst ringtones ever

Car alarm going off Hyenas fighting over bones Blender full of silverware Angry baby Chiropractor adjusting a spine Dentist’s drill Nails on chalkboard Garbage disposal with a spoon in it Air horn Celine Dion What do you tihnk the worst ringtone would be? With suggestions from Natalie, Jason, Liz B. And Lynette R. viagra free […]

Worst “Secret Santa” gifts

Longtime reader Marcus recently told me of the worst “Secret Santa” gift he ever received: ”I once received a black beaded woman’s handbag. I guess they were thinking a woman would get the gift.” I have never had much luck one way or the other in those. I’ve only been in three. The first time […]

Shut happens

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2008 New Years Resolutions

Longtime readers know that the every year I post my resolutions and ask for yours. I like to make mine easily achievable. You know, aim low and finish the year having achieved all of them. I resolve not to smear jelly on the face of my enemies. I resolve not to run naked through the […]

And furthermore… Part I

I really need to take a camera with me every time I have coffee with my friend Liz. We see the best freaks. Tonight topped them. Ever go to a coffeehouse, it’s really crowded so you find an empty table with not enough chairs? Then you hunt around to see if anyone isn’t using all […]

Last minute gift ideas

$38 bottled water Stretchmarks Mutant Kewpie Dolls Trouble Some hot new fashions, via Michelle Kwajafa A monobrow A Toilet Headrest, via the other Michelle Crow’s feet wrinkles A steel wool Christmas scultpture What last minute gift ideas do you have? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy […]

Words mangled by last night’s waitress

Syrah, pronounced as SWAH Merlot, pronounced as MYRHH-lit Edamame, pronounced as AH-nee-Mom-ee Sushi, pronounced as SOE-shee Soy sauce, pronounced as SWOY siss viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female […]

How you know you’ve been on Facebook too long

Your friends routinely throw sheep at you. You do not find this at all disturbing. You start dreaming your friends are all werewolves and you’re a vampire. You do not slayall of them as you need at least one to play Scrabulous with. You’ve groped, dry-humped, licked and trout-slapped 190 women that you’ve never met […]

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