Recent Effluvia:

Captiontime #229, Special Batman Edition

This time, caption what you think Batman is thinking.

15 April, 2008
Rejected names for cereals
1. Lice Krispies
2. Kellogg’s Porn Flakes
3. Frosted Mini Feets
4. Sugar Frosted Aches
5. Ape Nuts
6. Cap’n Chronic
7. Brute Loops
8. Unlucky Harms
9. Funny Bunches of Goats
10. What cereals names would you reject? If you need some inspiration, look through Mr. Breakfast.
13 April, 2008
What’s in Dick’s shades?

The whole of the Interwebs are alight with chatter of whether or not a nekkid lady is reflected in Dick Cheney’s sunglasses. I say that’s ridiculous. Have you ever seen Dick Cheney? No woman would get naked in front of him. Here’s a few guesses of mine.

What are your guesses?

11 April, 2008
Captiontime #228

Image via Lake Effect

09 April, 2008
How to spot a freak

At some point, you’ve surely heard a friend or coworker say something like, “That person should not be allowed to breed.” Well, those people did breed and their spawn all migrated to my city. As you can see from these two photographs, our freaks are not your ordinary tinfoil-hat-wearing, no-sock-having, nine-coat-sporting hobos that you might see in cities like New York or Los Angeles. Ours are a special kind of wrong.

The closeup view is even more confusing:

07 April, 2008
Separated at birth

I am so sorry for hardly posting lately. I have been traveling a lot for work (since November actually). A lot being every single week. Not all hotels have reliable Wifi or even Ethernet cables. Amazingly, the cheaper the hotel, the better the Internet connection and easier to sign on. Stay in a pricey hotel and the connections are as stable as Gary Busey on a bender.

Image on right via Raymi the Minx. Left image via TSG

05 April, 2008
Captiontime #227

02 April, 2008
Announcing a change to Davezilla

Fourteen years is a long time to run a website and this site has gone through many changes over the years. As my job changed, so have my priorities. I’d like to see the site head in a more positive, mature direction, so from now on, the main focus of the site will no long be humor, but instead some more uplifting, wholesome subjects closer to my heart like eBay auctions and Facebook apps. I hope you welcome the changes.

01 April, 2008
What’s your best insult ever?

Last night we were sitting at a crowded bar when this trampy woman with a bottle or two of cheap perfume on, smashed into Lizz in an effort to order a drink. Everything in the area soon took on her stench. I told Lizz that the woman smelled like “a whore rolled in blue cheese” which made her spew her drink. I thought it was a pretty good insult.

What’s your best? Not one you’ve heard, but the best one you’ve ever made up yourself.

30 March, 2008
Captiontime #226

29 March, 2008
Complete this sentence #42

It takes a real man to be a _______________.

27 March, 2008
Fashion tips from Davezilla

I don’t mind when a person wants to shave their head bald, but if they have a head shape that makes them look like a cross between a concentration camp victim and an Idaho baker, I’d say reconsider.

UGGs still suck. Period. You still want to wear these monstrosities? I will hate you. And everyone else agrees with me.

Extreme combovers. Seriously. Die.

25 March, 2008