Lizz and I had sushi at a swanky jazz club last night. Seated near Lizz was a rather large and beastly woman. Midway through her meal, the woman sneezed. And what a sneeze! She attempted to cover her mouth, but this only succeeded in deflecting the spray that was to come into cone-like soak zone, similar to those one encounters at zoological parks. One second after the sound of the sneeze, a literal rain of sushi rice flew over our heads, one large glob slapping me in the cheek. It was one of the singularly most disgusting experiences of my…