Everything I Learned About Homes, I Learned from HGTV
If you don't have an island in your kitchen, your home will never sell. Buyers want an island. If you have the wrong kind of island in your kitchen, you'll ruin your home No one will want to buy it. Laminate flooring is a high quality, inexpensive material to give you the look of real tile for less. Laminate floors look cheap and will lower the value of your home. You really should have gone with real tile. Use purple and orange pillows, paired with lots of candles for the look of a plush, Moroccan getaway. The Moroccan look is…
Attention iPhone Owners
I just added a mobile theme to Davezilla.com to make it easier to read when you're stuck waiting at the clinic (I won't ask which one), waiting at the DMV, or avoiding listening to a boring meeting at work. I believe this theme is also optimized for Android, iTouch and the Palm Pre. Presumably this means you Crackberry users are screwed. Sorry about that. Let me know how it works for you. It seemed to work great on my iPhone.
What I Learned from Movies: Car Chases
All car in a chase will eventually run into an Italian fruit stand ominously parked in the middle of the road. This fruit stand is an omen of death and the proprietor is actually a minor demon; a minion of Lucifer set to test mankind's will… and driving skills. Alternatively, two elderly identical men will be carrying a large pane of glass across the street without OSHA-approved gear. It is rumored that the glass industry is in a slump, and employees are required to listen to police radios for possible police chases. This gives them ample opportunity to sue for…
Bigfoot’s Diary
2 Dec 2009 10 AM: Spent the morning leaving deliberate tracks in the snow near that stupid hunter's cabin. Made sure to leave a clump of rat hair on fence nearby. Took a long dump on his front porch, but decided to scoop it up and smoosh it in his mailbox instead. PUNK'D! Thought it might be funny to remind the park rangers of my existence, so I walked in front of the infra-red wildlife cameras. Here's the trick to wildlife cameras. Listen for the click and release of the shutter. Count carefully, so when you walk in front of…
Annual Thanksgiving Day List
Longtime readers know that every year I write a list on Thanksgiving of what I am thankful for. This year is no exception. Please let everyone know what you are thankful for in the comments. I am thankful that… …Sarah Palin is back to being America's prettiest moose hunter. …cats cannot manipulate Plutonium. …unlike killer bees, poutine has not managed to cross the border into the US. …Uggs are not mandatory school uniform wear. Nor are Crocs. …Paris Hilton has disappeared from the media spotlight. …icebergs cannot fly. …mullets are popular again. Just for the comedic value I require. …people…
You must be logged in to post a comment.