Celebrating 25 years of clean humor and filthy comments

Celebrating 25 years of clean humor and filthy comments.

11 February, 2023Posted inAnnouncements
And as a special tribute, I decided to ask ChatGPT how I am described. This was the response: Davezilla is a humorous blogger who is known for his witty and often sarcastic commentary on various topics. He has a unique writing style that blends humor, satire, and pop culture references, and his blog is widely regarded as entertaining and engaging. Davezilla's writing is often described as witty, incisive, and insightful, and his humor appeals to a wide range of readers, including those who enjoy political satire, pop culture commentary, and social critique. Overall, Davezilla is known for his ability to…
“UFO-Shaped”. Uh huh. Sure. UFO.

“UFO-Shaped”. Uh huh. Sure. UFO.

20 January, 2023Posted inwtf
A GIANT FLYING VAGINA A giant, flying vagina was seen over Turkey last week. Several Turkish incels died trying to jump high enough to have wanton sex with the cloud that "owed them" and "was asking for it." Several news outlets misidentified the cloud as being "UFO-Shaped" when it was clearly a gigantic vagina taunting the residents of Bursa, Turkey. The media tried to mislead the public by claiming it was a lenticular cloud, which we all know is a slanted media dog whistle for A GIANT FLYING VAGINA.
When do we decide if someone is batshit crazy?

When do we decide if someone is batshit crazy?

16 June, 2022Posted inObservations
I know. That term is politically incorrect. And I am not applying it to those with true mental illnesses. I’m talking about those times when eccentricity goes a wee bit over the top. And stays there. You’ve doubtless met others who have decided to become eccentric, perhaps even the town eccentric, but it was clearly a conscious act on their part. Those people. True eccentricity, I believe, is unconscious. The person may not know their actions are in fact, not in societal expectations. Those people are fantastic and bring color to life. Back to being batshit crazy. There is a…

Terrible Ideas for Tattoos

12 June, 2022Posted inBad Ideas
I've seen some terrible ideas for tattoos in my time. Hell, I've come up with some. But the public does it better. Homer Simpson bending over so the tat owner's navel is his asshole. The Warner Bros. Tasmanian Devil holding a beer, with the caption, this bud's for me (alternately with a joint). And I really don't get the goth girls who get open-mouthed devil faces down there. Thanks, no. Here's some more that really exist. You're welcome.
24 Years Ago…

24 Years Ago…

26 February, 2022Posted inAnnouncements
I bought this domain. Yep. February 22, 1998. That means next year, my blog will be a quarter century old. One of the oldest on the planet. Crazy town. Thank you for sticking with me. I am going to be posting a lot more this year. But original stuff. Not the memes. Those can stay on Facebook where they belong!

You needed lungs of steel

08 January, 2022Posted inBad Ideas
Remember this shit? I could never get a bubble bigger than 2” and it smelled like a Victorian turpentine factory. The bubbles were generally forest green with the faintest whisper of yellow. “Here, kids! It’s like lung cancer in a tube. Knock yourself out.” SuperElasticBubblePlastic, next to Jarts, it claimed more childhood lives in the 1970s than riding in cars without safety belts. But don’t take my word for it. This shit was deadly. There’s even a Wikipedia page about it. It was made from polyvinyl acetate dissolved in acetone. You know, for kids!

Only in Royal Oak…

24 July, 2021Posted inObservations
Longtime readers will know that I have spent the majority of my life in Royal Oak, Michigan — a strange little town with a penchant for weirdness. We could just as easily deserve our own version of Austin’s tagline. “ Keep Royal Oak weird.” Last night, while walking home with my honey, we noticed another oddity. Only in Royal Oak can you purchase a gallon of Bulleit Rye, Falafel, an Bitcoin, all in the same … gas station. Falafel, Bitcoin, and Booze by the gallon, What more could you ask for from a gas station?

Garganornis: Even its name is evil

05 July, 2021Posted inObservations, Original Humor
Just picture being a Cro Magnon. You’ve just gotten a nice cave in the ‘burbs for the fam. Worked hard on the garden damn, those 15 lb. Rafflesia flowers are looking fine. Then you hear it. Honking. Not the wimpy honk of a long-dead Velociraptor. Nope. There used to be a giant goose named Garganornis. It was so tall, it stood up to Chris Helmsworth’s nipples. Picture a flock of giant geese shitting on your lawn and not just hissing at you. These fuckers would just eat your face and change your cable channels. Garganornis ballmanni. Photo via WikiMedia.