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It's been three years since I wrote Part 1 of Stupid Tattoos. I've thought of a few since then. ;) Macaulay Culkin in Home AloneThe Coke vs. Pepsi ChallengeScabiesThe Louisiana PurchaseThe Polish Bicycle TeamKerry's Health PlanSomeone else's nippleReV.JeLLyBaBY and mikeB living naked in a caveBill O'Reilly having phone sex with his female employeesToho's attorneys

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There will not only be yards of beer, there will be yards of coffee. Daylight Saving Time will happen every season. I haven’t worked out the math yet, but we will gain an hour’s sleep every season. Let us learn from our southern neighbors in Mexico. Mandatory siestas at work. People who make quote marks with their fingers in the air while talking will be sent to a federal penitantiary. Donald Trump will be fired. Carrot Top will die for our sins. Hummer owners will be forced to drive AMC Pacers. Eating carbs would once again be something we are…