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Caption Time #71

By Davezilla 20 September, 2005Caption Time27 Comments

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Overheard: Insane neighbors edition

By Davezilla 19 September, 2005Observations20 Comments

Cougar: "You didn't use the ice from the green tray, did you? Boyfriend: "Yes … why?" Cougar: "That ice is stale! It's been in the freezer for months." Boyfriend: "How can ice go stale? It's frozen water." Cougar: "Well, I say it can!" [Definition of Cougar]

You find the strangest things on Google

By Davezilla 18 September, 2005Observations15 Comments

In the news

By Davezilla 17 September, 2005Observations22 Comments

I was reading in the news that Britney Spears finally pushed out a puppy. Preston Michael Spears. I fear for this child having the initials "PMS", while his mother's are "BS".

Caption Time #70

By Davezilla 17 September, 2005Caption Time27 Comments

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Prolapsed Pachyderm

By Davezilla 16 September, 2005Uncategorized31 Comments

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Caption Time #69

By Davezilla 15 September, 2005Caption Time44 Comments

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More things that sound dirty, but aren’t

By Davezilla 14 September, 2005Observations40 Comments

Draining his pasta Cleaning her lint trap Rearranging her bookshelves Checking her fluid levels Soaking the dentures Uncorked her champagne Filing her taxes Grinding the beans Polishing the boots Licking her stamp collection Winding her clock Counting her rosary beads Sending out the invitations Flipping her hotcakes Burning his CD Waxing her hood Blowing out the candle Carving the pumpkin Booking her tickets Refinish her end table

Pimp my ride

By Davezilla 13 September, 2005Uncategorized28 Comments

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Caption Time #68

By Davezilla 12 September, 2005Caption Time21 Comments

Malapropisms and mispronunciations

By Davezilla 11 September, 2005Observations28 Comments

"perifeal vision" (heard on CNN) "samwichiz (heard on CNN) "perdickuler" (neighbor) "fedral mandrate" (heard on CSPAN2) "teepanated" (heard at work) "for all intensive purposes" (heard on CNN) "lack toast and tolerant" (heard at work) "I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination." (same neighbor) "My glasses were so foggied up with compensation." (heard at Pier One) "Michael Jackson sleeps in a hyperactive chamber." (heard at Starbucks)

I assume this is a turtle?

By Davezilla 10 September, 2005Uncategorized18 Comments