Category: Observations
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OK, fess up…
Whose bad idea was it to combine alarm clocks with blinding sunlight? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra…
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Bad things I’ve mistaken for toothpaste…
…when I’ve left my glasses in the other room. Cat laxative Grout cleaner (ow) Compound W (not mine) Gel-based vitamins for the cat I am occasionally amazed that I still have gums. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free…
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Note to Self, No. 6,011
Before presenting to the Senior Vice-Presidents again, be sure to wipe all the toothpaste off your face first.
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More people we dislike #8: Pseudo-bodybuilders
Few things are more pathetic than body builders. Pseudo-bodybuilders are definitely more pathetic. Too arrogant to admit they aren’t that built, but not dedicated enough to deform themselves through excessive steroid usage. Signs you may be this type: They kiss their biceps They refer to their biceps as, “my guns”. They can afford to pimp…
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Things to write on check memos
Things to write on check memos That’s cheque memos to my readers abroad. When writing a check for an unpleasant bill, there are subtle things you can do to amuse yourself, while confusing those on the receiving end. Add any I’ve missed. You’re fired I’m still sore from last night Devil Clowns are making me…
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Overheard: Solving World Hunger Edition
Mark: “Y’know Canada has more oil than any other country and them bastards are hoarding it from Americans. That’s how they maintain their air of neutrality. It’s a sham. They are ready to gun the f*ck out of anyone who finds out about the oil reserves. Nobody knows a thing about it.” Al: “If nobody…
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Damn the centipedes
I thought about the comments from yesterday’s Link of the Day. Centipedes are freakish and wrong. Especially that one. I dug up some facts about it: Giant Centipedes are responsible for the Stock Market Crash of 1929 Giant Centipedes steal your identity Giant Centipedes leave the refrigerator door open all night Giant Centipedes cause seven…
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That shit don’t count an’ you know it.
Dougie: “I don’t eat the snatch, and you shouldn’t nei-thuh.” Me: “Oh? Why’s that?” Dougie: “Cause that shit make you faggot.” Me: “Excuse me?” Dougie: “Anytime you put your mouth where you dick has been—that shit make you faggot.” Me: “So that would make your wife a lesbian?” Dougie: “Fuck you! How you figure that…
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No Loit
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Note to Self, No. 6,005
I forgot what I was going to write. Damn. Now I’ll be up all night wondering if I’ll do it again. Whatever it is. Will I even know it if I do it? Help me out here. What was it?
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Overheard: Redneck Lunch Edition
Grummuh: “Thomas P? Thomas P? Lissen to yer Grummuh. Lissen to yer Grummuh. Lissen to yer Grummuh. Lissen to yer Grummuh. “Thomas P? Thomas P? Lissen to yer Grummuh. Oh honestly, Theresa Jo. What is wrong with him? Like tawking to thin air.” Theresa Jo: “Yew stop pickin’ on mah kids, mawmuh! They’s fine as…
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Note to Self, No. 5,806
Find the inventor of Daylight Saving Time, and kill him.
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