How I plan 2 destroy the world

Dear WORLD, U ar in a lot of troubel with me!!! I have had it for the last time and this is the last straw. My Mom put me in timeout agen! No way.!! So I made use of the time 2 make my Master Plan of Escape and also a Super Wepon of Destructshun. It is a gun that will erase ev eryone's mouth at ONCE!!! All at the same time 2! YOu are all scrood. Prepare to die, Love, Billy, Age 7viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy…

Things You Never Want to Hear Your Doctor Say

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The day I realized Santa was fake

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An open letter to the people of Great Britain

Dear Brits, It's been a while since we've spoken. You've been busy pontificating that your music is still relevant and we've been busy getting our ass kicked in a war we didn't vote for. I thought it might be time to clear up some things. Perhaps it's in poor taste to tell others you're Great Britain. This is much like calling yourself Super Sweden or Mexico Rawks! You see? Doesn't quite work. Try a more modest slogan. "Britain. 'Nuff said." You may have noticed we've been doing some editing to your language. There's no need to be embarrassed by your…

HPC: Reusable Condom [NSFW]

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Welcome to New Mexico!

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Allergy Remedy

Nikki: "I was too tired for movies last night. Allergies are kicking my ass."Me: "Why do allergies have to kick our ass? Why can't they lightly pinch it?"Nikki: "Seriously."Me: "Or grope it."Nikki: "Hehehehe."Me: "My allergies are really groping my ass. And it's kinda nice."

Baby Ghengis

Every year in the Mongol Empire, circus performers from the Far East and would arrive to demonstrate feats of skill and daring and 1169 C.E. was no different. It was this year that a small girl-child named Temüjin would see the circus for the first time. While the tigers, elephants, camels and phoenixes were impressive enough to the young girl, it was the knife-throwing act that kept her spellbound, until an errant throw sent a knife hurtling in her direction. Without even thinking, she stood up, turned precisely 62° clockwise, and caught the blade expertly in her peg-like baby teeth.…

Overused Movie Clichés #5

"There's worse things out tonight then those creatures.""Like what?""Like me." "We got something special, babe. Real special. Now ditch the bra and get back onstage." "Don't go out there. You'll only get killed. Ben needs you. I need you." "This knife belonged to my great granddaddy. Killed a lot of Indians with it. Now it's my turn." "You think I'm nothing cause I come from the streets, huh? You think you're better than me? Cause you went to school and learnt things? Is that what you think?" "A girl's gotta use what she's got. I mean, whatever it takes, right?…

If women planned fishing trips

Three course picnic, wine coolers and those adorable glasses from Target! "Do fish prefer Andes' Mints or Truffles as bait?" "What do you mean, our laughing is scaring away the fish?" "I'm not sure how good these silver hooks are, but aren't they cute?" "Do these waders make my butt look big?" I'm sure I missed a few, but I am really tired viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…

If Men Planned Weddings

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What I learned from watching MTV Trés

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