Observations

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Well, would ya look at that! Uh oh, that is not supposed to happen. Christ, better get out the book. Does this hurt? No? That doesn't hurt. You're kidding, I hit it with a hammer. Have the folks at Guinness Book of World Records been in touch? They probably have a section for … these sort of things Normally that wouldn't have claws or tendrils… I'd normally say I have bad news for you, but this is actually rather funny… We've been looking at your X-Rays and … well, we can't tell which side is up Well, we usually only…

It was Christmas Eve and I was five years old. Me: "Mom?" Mom: "Yes, honey?" Me: "This package says it's from Santa." Mom: "It is! What did you ask him for?" Me: "I don't know. But it looks like your writing." Mom: "Uhhh, yes he asked me to write it for him." Me: "Hmph." Christmas Day Me: "Mom?" Mom: "Yes, honey?" Me: "If this package is from Santa, how come it says Mattel on the box?" Mom: "…" Mom: "Look, just don't tell your sisters."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra…

Dear Brits, It's been a while since we've spoken. You've been busy pontificating that your music is still relevant and we've been busy getting our ass kicked in a war we didn't vote for. I thought it might be time to clear up some things. Perhaps it's in poor taste to tell others you're Great Britain. This is much like calling yourself Super Sweden or Mexico Rawks! You see? Doesn't quite work. Try a more modest slogan. "Britain. 'Nuff said." You may have noticed we've been doing some editing to your language. There's no need to be embarrassed by your…

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Nikki: "I was too tired for movies last night. Allergies are kicking my ass."Me: "Why do allergies have to kick our ass? Why can't they lightly pinch it?"Nikki: "Seriously."Me: "Or grope it."Nikki: "Hehehehe."Me: "My allergies are really groping my ass. And it's kinda nice."

Every year in the Mongol Empire, circus performers from the Far East and would arrive to demonstrate feats of skill and daring and 1169 C.E. was no different. It was this year that a small girl-child named Temüjin would see the circus for the first time. While the tigers, elephants, camels and phoenixes were impressive enough to the young girl, it was the knife-throwing act that kept her spellbound, until an errant throw sent a knife hurtling in her direction. Without even thinking, she stood up, turned precisely 62° clockwise, and caught the blade expertly in her peg-like baby teeth.…

"There's worse things out tonight then those creatures.""Like what?""Like me." "We got something special, babe. Real special. Now ditch the bra and get back onstage." "Don't go out there. You'll only get killed. Ben needs you. I need you." "This knife belonged to my great granddaddy. Killed a lot of Indians with it. Now it's my turn." "You think I'm nothing cause I come from the streets, huh? You think you're better than me? Cause you went to school and learnt things? Is that what you think?" "A girl's gotta use what she's got. I mean, whatever it takes, right?…

Three course picnic, wine coolers and those adorable glasses from Target! "Do fish prefer Andes' Mints or Truffles as bait?" "What do you mean, our laughing is scaring away the fish?" "I'm not sure how good these silver hooks are, but aren't they cute?" "Do these waders make my butt look big?" I'm sure I missed a few, but I am really tired viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…

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No matter how many women a man sleeps around with, he can always get his true love back by making puppy dog eyes at her in a nightclub While Latino men need to bundle up in thick winter coats in Southern California, Latina women find that hot pants and a sequined bra are the perfect outfit for any weather condition: hot, cold or monsoon Cellphones have outstanding reception, even in remote Mexican ghost towns Drum machines are actually powered by an old Cuban man with a straw hat and congas It is not only acceptable to go to a formal…