Category: Observations
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Tribes: Over Smilers
I hate them. The Over Smilers. They ruin photos, frighten children and cause cows to dry up with their wan expressions and lipless grimaces. First introduced to the United States in the 1950s by the Dutch, they were inbred nearly to extinction in the area now known as Glamour Shots. viagra free viagra buy viagra…
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Observation No. 1,036,997
I’ve decided I really like the U-Scans at the grocery store because they still card me for beer. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…
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Tribes: Coupon Clippers
Jason Macemore and I had lunch at a local Greek restaurant. When we left to pay, the woman in front of us was using one of those keyring discount cards. She must have had 70 different cards crushed on her keyring, like some grotesque, spiraling flower made of laminate and barcodes. This is a tribe.…
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Think twice America!
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Weepy
Did you ever own a toy or object that you swore was made by a mentally unstable person? Back when I still dyed my hair colors not known to nature (early 80s) I did a lot of shopping in resale stores and church rummage sales. At one particularly good rummage sale, I found a bin…
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Gang names we’d like to see
Southside Sommeliers Cockney Scholars Motown Pacifists West Coast UNIX Programmers Cleveland Pussies The Cribs T-Dot Poutineers Well-Adjusted Youths of Baltimore The Aristocrats Which gang names would you like to see? Based on an idea from Chris Barry viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra…
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the old Ductch oven
Dear Mistre Dave Zilla Long time no here. Whats up?? i have an idea for you one that will go down in th anals and anuses of history.!!! I have bad gas. this is no surpriase. Aslk my 3 GFs. They all complane about the farts and want too smakc me when i giev them…
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Moon BM? Moon Bum?
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Definition of an Asshole
A pink Hummer. Truly, this driver is in league with Satan. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…
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Things I learned from watching the Sci Fi network
Maglites are to be held near the head, in a knife stabbing position. Astronauts and aquanauts require lights on the inside of their helmets, facing their eyes Rich women wear heels in the jungle. They help with balance and aid in escaping predators. Humans can outsmart any alien species, no matter how advanced, no matter…
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I’M STILL LOOKING FOR THAT BLUE TARP!
Amazingly, the following is not from the Sultan of Cleveland: PLEASE!!! SOMEBODY GET RID OF MY NEIGBORS!!!!! THEY ARE AGGRAVATING, ANNOYING, DISRESPECTFUL, AND ON JULY 12 THRETENED TO BEAT THE SHIT OUT OF ME! WHAT A NEIGHBOR? HER SON GETS ALL SCARED WHEN HE SEES ME COMING OUT OF THE FOREST. SO HE RUNS BACK…
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Lubed, for her protection?
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