Category: Observations
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Strange days, indeed
Yesterday, Royal Oak seemed to fall apart. A woman in our city who used to be a news anchor killed her husband. There was a three hour power outtage. A pipe bomb was discovered on the edge of town and subsequently dismantled. A woman walked into Pitaya Jeans, wet herself and ran out. A homeless…
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The Dump and Run
One thing I absolutely deplore is the dump and run. Someone did it to me today. I walk in the Men’s Room to use the urinal and someone else is in there just polluting the stall. I suspect he was well-fed on a diet of burnt broccoli and baked Yeti fur topped with a rich…
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Eep!
Apologies for the down time yesterday. It wasn’t the server. For some reason (that is still not resolved) the company that I purchased the domain Davezilla.com from assumed my ownership had expired, when in fact it expires next year in 2011.
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12:34:56
I always seem to look at the clock when it turns 12:34, and frequently, 12:34:56. I don’t do this intentionally, nor do I wait for it to turn. it’s just a weird synchronicity thing. I asked several of my friends if they always seem to notice a certain time on the clock and I am…
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Why I don’t live in California
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Rejected names for cars
Dodge Battering Ram BMW 325,000,000 Mercedes Hahaha peasant Audi, Pardner Ford Vehicle Cadillac Emperor Subaru Hippie Chick Mercury Expectation Buick Potentate Lexus Cougar Pontiac International Man of Mystery Saturn Zeus VW Hipster Chrysler Going out of Business Sale Saab Story Jeep BBQ Toyota Soccer Mom Porsche Paprika Jaguar Commoner Hummer MILF Written with help of…
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The Fifth Circle of Hell
CANTO XIII: In most of the United States, when it’s time to renew your driver’s license, or get new tabs for your plates, you might go to the DMV (Dept. of Motor Vehicles). Not so in Michigan. We go to the Secretary of State—known to Dante Alighieri as the Fifth Circle of Hell. It is…
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Overheard: People are fuh-reaks edition
GIRL 1: “Um, I got him a tie, a video game and his-and-hers buttplugs.” GIRL 2: ‘OMG! I bought Mike the same things!” [From Natalie, overheard on the subway:] MAN: “Don’t those blow-up dolls come with orifices and shit?” PERSON IN DELI: “Is this milk? It says it is. Is it?” viagra free viagra buy…
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Don’t be jealous
One freak has continually eluded my camera. Three times now. I will persevere. Anyway, here is the breakdown of her attire, and I use that term loosely; she looks rather loose. Bedraggled and pallid, fake, leopard-fur jacket. The type of fabric one would see on the loincloth of a “native” in a B-movie. Shop-worn, straight-leg…
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Facebook apps I want to see
Auto Ignore: Getting too many app requests? Not only will this app ignore all requests from your annoying so-called friends, it will simultaneously remove the app from their profile. Fun! Great FunWall of China: Like FunWall, but with more restrictions. A lot more. It’s really not all that fun, come to think of it. Don’t…
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