Caption Time #168

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Not like lettuce

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Feta and Italian Drugs

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How to identify species #1, The Banana Slug

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An open letter to the men of Japan

Gentlemen, This week sees the arrest of yet another Japanese pervert; serial lingerie thief Shigeo Kodama. Kodama, a 54 year-old construction worker, stole nearly 4,000 pairs of panties in only six years. I only have a few questions, as one who has never visited Japan. What is up with Japanese men and panties? Granted, as fetishes go, it's fairly tame. It's nothing as disturbing as say, underwater clown sex, but by comparison, we Westerners grow weary of peeking at girls' underwear by age ten or so. Explain. Use extra sheets if necessary. Second, and I ask this on behalf of…

Caption Time #167

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How to annoy the drive through clerk 2

”Are the burgers locally grown? I only eat organic.” ”My water broke.” ”Your mother's in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I'll see that she gets it.” ”Two fifty-six for the meal? OK, how much for a lapdance?” ”Is this the place where the rats where found in the tacos? I don’t want no rat tacos.” ”Wait. Say that again. Slower this time. Aw, yeah. That’s soooo hot.” ”This isn’t medium rare. I specifically asked for medium rare.” ”I’m from Immigration. I’m going to pull around and I don’t want any sudden moves.” Once upon a time,…

How I feel right about now

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Hell hath no fury like a kitten scorned

My cat recently turned 17. That age marks a special time in a cat's life when she ascends from a Demanding Diva to a Hirsute Hobgoblin. True, she is still deceptively beautiful, in the same way many terrible vipers are. It is her mannerisms that have transcended during this special year. Socks I used to come home from travel and find a matching pair of my socks by the door. She would drag them there in hopes of bringing me back, which clearly worked. She still does this, but now adds special touches to them: hairballs, dryer lint, vomit. It…

Caption Time #166

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You’ll what?

Allegedly real. The station made a mad dash to remove copies of this from YouTube claiming, "copyright violation". Next time you steal art from Google Images, make sure you look at it before using it on national TV.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying…

To Hell and back

Some interesting road trips you can make in the United States. Suggested by misterarthur. From Intercourse, Pennsylvania to Climax, Michigan From Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina to Hell, Michigan From Spread Eagle, Wisconsin to Hooker, Arkansas From Cut-Off, Louisiana to Blueballs, Pennsylvania From Cold Water, Mississippi to Hot Water, Mississippi From Toad Suck, Arkansas to Monkey's Elbow, Kentucky From Panic, Pennsylvania to Fearnot, Pennsylvania From Boring, Oregon to Eclectic, Alabama From Ogle, Kentucky to Loveladies, New Jersey From Smackover, Arkansas to Assawoman, Virginia From Muck City, Alabama to Shite Creek, Idaho From Fort Dick, California to Dickeyville, Wisconsin From Dismal,…