An open letter to the men of Japan

Gentlemen,

This week sees the arrest of yet another Japanese pervert; serial lingerie thief Shigeo Kodama. Kodama, a 54 year-old construction worker, stole nearly 4,000 pairs of panties in only six years.

I only have a few questions, as one who has never visited Japan. What is up with Japanese men and panties? Granted, as fetishes go, it’s fairly tame. It’s nothing as disturbing as say, underwater clown sex, but by comparison, we Westerners grow weary of peeking at girls’ underwear by age ten or so. Explain. Use extra sheets if necessary.

Japanties

Second, and I ask this on behalf of my girlfriend who is equally confounded by this one: what’s up with the octopus sex? One cannot surf the Internets anymore without encountering pictures of Japanese women having sex with cephalopods.

I come from Detroit. We view octopi as something one throws on the ice after a hockey game. It would never occur to us that arthropods are ever an option as a sexual partner.

Anxiously, I await your response.

Best,
Davezilla

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28 Comments

  1. Oh, you lie. This octopus sex thing is just a rumor you are trying to start. Show me linkage.

  2. Spud

    Underwater clown sex

    Arthropodic sexual partners

    Sex with cephalopods

    Do I sense a theme here?

    Something about underwater clown cephalopods wearing flimsy lingerie?

    :geek:

  3. Did you say “use extra sheets”? Really? What colour are they? Who’s been sleeping in them? Has anyone else sniffed them?

  4. Buck

    Ahhh yes the octopus on the ice at the Joe, your making me homesick today Dave!

  5. Anna

    what? …. what”? …… you lost me after “octopus sex”.

  6. Well, if he store the panties light off the young women who were welling them at the time, I say “YOU LOCK”.

  7. In the Pacific during WWII our troops used the password “squirrel” because the Japanese couldn’t pronounce it.

  8. Octopus sex? :wtf: ❓

    Thanks a lot for giving me that visual. :puke:

  9. Tiberius

    Ok, as a current resident in the Land of the Deviant Leprechaun, I feel obliged to offer a few insights.

    1.) Japanese pornography laws prohibit the showing of genitalia of both men and women. Women’s breasts are ok, and often found in weekly magazines and sometimes on late night tv, but that’s about it. So, to navigate this little problem of government censorship, the wee people decided to circumvent the law and show young lasses getting the tentacles treatment. Hence a whole new sub-fetish is born.

    2.) Japan is…Japan. There are social rules here that may seem a bit odd to those not accustomed to them. For example- men associate with men and women associate with women. It’s like being stuck in junior high school for your entire life. And if you do start getting openly friendly with the opposite sex, it is assumed the that the you are just an over-sexed pervert, that is, unless you are in the proper setting for such behavior. “But, why do they steal underwear?” you may ask. Well, I don’t have a good answer for that, but there is so much separation between men and women that even women’s underwear is separated (and usually hidden) when hung outside to dry (dryers are very uncommon in Japan), but this very well might be a case of the chicken and the egg. In the end, I guess it is only natural for men to go after a forbidden fruit especially when it requires no social awkwardness to obtain it, unless of course you get caught. This social anxiety is probably the fundamental frustration underneath that is driving such a fetish, much like feeling up women on crowded trains in the morning. But that’s another topic altogether…

    That’s just my guess. Hope it helps!

  10. [Comment ID #144997 will be quoted here]

    I do book covers for erotic romance, so I can confirm that the idea of octopus sex exists (haven’t done a cover for one, though!). It’s actually more like tentacle sex because it’s usually an octopus-like alien or something. An author or two sent me a link to ask me what I thought, but I don’t think I’d directly link to it here. Search for pornotopia on Google.

    Another thing that the Japanese have made popular? Yaoi. Considering everything else, though, yaoi’s pretty tame. Think Brokeback Mountain, but with Asian or effete looking men … with anime-style type illustration. Super, super popular — some of the bestselling stuff. Don’t ask me why.

    But I’ve seen weirder things — vampire romances, “were” romances, and the like. Some of the were romances have featured not only werewolves, but horses and orca whales. Again, don’t ask.

    I don’t write or read them. I just slap covers on them every now and then so I’ve read some pretty bizarre cover art briefs. Eh, it’s a living. I know that the authors themselves probably have seen or written even weirder or worse things, but I try not to think about that. Makes me feel so vanilla.

  11. junkman

    007 didn’t have any problem with octopussy! it may be a requirement to review the panties in one’s collection on all stain’s day.
    p.s. that was a funny story link irma. i still don’t know what the octopus fellatio technic is. it seemed more like a ring toothed squid job. :wtf:

  12. StevieC

    I dunno, I think it would be kind of handy to have eight arms to do some touching and teasing with. Add a little suction to each of them and we’ve got ourselves a party! That, or another road trip to Climax, IN again. 😈

  13. Mandy

    What kind of :undies: do these octopussies wear? Inquiring minds want to know.

  14. family jules

    The Japanese are very weird in a lot of ways. Ever noticed how every single female cartoon character seems to be voiced by a Teletubby? They have the technology to outclass us on almost every level and their anime is so unsophisticated? Their popular movies are right out of middle school A/V? What is it with these people?

    It is apparently a male-driven society, and the males are all mentally 6-10 years old. Very strange.

  15. [Comment ID #146512 will be quoted here]

    Glad you liked it! Az is a great writer, the rest of the website is very fun to read too, if you have the time! =)

  16. [Comment ID #146430 will be quoted here]

    I’m cool with vampire and werewolf romance novels, but orcas? :wtf:

    [Comment ID #146732 will be quoted here]

    Now that sounds interesting. 😈 :kiss:

  17. Jay Laverdure

    In 1989, when I was dazed & bemused, working in Yokohama, I found that Japanese vending machines will dispense just about anything, including beer, hot-espresso-in-a-can, surgical masks, Suntory scotch and- you got it- panties (possibly pre-worn)!

  18. Actually, this doesn’t scratch the surface. Japanese kinks go miles beyond the stuff covered here. But that isn’t what bothers me.

    What bothers me, is there’s some Japanese men over there talking about how mystifyingly bizarre the sexual tastes of Americans are. I wonder what strikes them as weirdest about us?
    😳

  19. Drusky

    Don’t forget the Anime that portrays women in bondage, violence against women, etc… A cousin visited Japan recently and was amazed by some of the stuff you could buy including ‘Black Sambo’ dolls and items making fun of other races such as Mexicans… and this from a Culture that views itself as above the ‘decadent West’… 😕

  20. What I’d say to those japanese women…Avoid getting your panties stolen, Don’t Own Any! 😀
    I don’t 😈 except very rarely on special occasions when that’s ALL I’m wearing and even then I leave them behind afterwards as souvenirs or keepsakes.
    They can’t steal something you don’t have. 😛

    Octopus Sex: I totally agree with SteveC!! 😈
    SteveC, I love your thought process!!

  21. I have never heard of the term octopus sex, I will have to go and search it out now as I am curious.

  22. Nat

    I just think the whole Japan thing is weird. They’re into the whole Bukkake thing, which, on occasion can actually turn me on. But what’s with the Anime stuff? Porno cartoons. I mean it’s just messed up. I can understand a panty fetish but I’d rather just watch a real cumshot, not an animated one.

  23. Octopus sex. Just the thought of it makes me twitch a little bit. :undies:

  24. Wayne

    [Comment ID #144997 will be quoted here]

    you just wanna see it pervoid. :limp:

  25. cody

    yall should put more appropite stuff on this site. my lil bro is on yhis site all the time i dont think he should be looking at this stuff

Comments are closed