Year: 2007
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Iron Chef Challenge
Let’s see that bastard cook with these secret ingredients: Tears of a Clown Cream Rinse Shampoo Food for thought A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido Snake Oil Gum Arabic Hen’s Teeth Primordial Soup Mystery meat Any others? Anyone? Bueller? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra…
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Post will be delayed
By a few hours. Stayed up all night doing taxes. Hope to have something up by 9:30 AM EST. 🙂
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Bag Lady
You know, after 12 years of doing this site, it takes a lot to surprise me. This one did it. A perfectly normal woman, nicely dressed, ordering a normal drink at Starbucks. She just happened to have her foot wrapped in a plastic shopping bag and scooted it along in a baby stroller. Speaking of…
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Finish this story
Nimbus Fallon, world-famous cloned sheep, had achieved super-human intelligence. Within hours of her birth she was gamboling about the meadow, days later she was explaining Fermat’s Theorum to college freshmen at Cornell University. At three months old, she became the first quadruped to solve a Rubik’s Cube with hooves. But early fame does not set…
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More people we dislike #15
Mean people who win the lottery. The cashier at Baja Fresh who continually gets my order wrong because, “There’s no other vegetarians.†Advertisers who are suffering from the delusion that all senior citizens spend each day walking in slow motion on the beach their golden retriever. People who say, “We’ll give them the dog and…
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Not what I will be wearing…
…when my year in white ends. I promise. Image via Jen viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative…
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Eat Me
I must admit to always being disturbed by pictures like this: food that can’t wait to end itself, smothering condiments on generously to assist in its own demise. As a child, I was horrified by hamburger joints that had cows eating burgers or licking their lips. Something about the cannibalistc cows deeply upset me. Is…
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Complete this Sentence, #36
“The worst thing about going to work on Monday is having to __________ all the __________ .” viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra…
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Open letter to Scented Candle Makers
To whom it may concern, I, like many American citizens, enjoy purchasing scented candles as a means to lighten the mood of a room, whether to herald the change of season, or perhaps to get laid. As a long-time purchaser of scented candles, I find myself qualified to venture an opinion or two on your…
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WAIT, I WILL HELPS YOU TYEP!
(My cat likes to help me type) Update: Jade made the front page of I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…
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Caption Time #171
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Fun with Waitstaff
As the waiter brings food to another table, pull out a shotgun and scream, “That’s my food! Goddamn, you thieving bastard!†and fire a warning shot into the waiter’s kneecap. Then look at the food, and with a confused look proclaim, “Oh, oops. That’s not what I ordered. My bad.†When they ask, “How does…
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