Iron Chef Challenge

16 April, 2007Posted inObservations57 Comments
Let's see that bastard cook with these secret ingredients: Tears of a Clown Cream Rinse Shampoo Food for thought A mulatto, an albino, a mosquito, my libido Snake Oil Gum Arabic Hen's Teeth Primordial Soup Mystery meat Any others? Anyone? Bueller? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free…

Bag Lady

15 April, 2007Posted inObservations21 Comments
You know, after 12 years of doing this site, it takes a lot to surprise me. This one did it. A perfectly normal woman, nicely dressed, ordering a normal drink at Starbucks. She just happened to have her foot wrapped in a plastic shopping bag and scooted it along in a baby stroller. Speaking of feet, for the project so far, you readers have sent in: feet, fingers, faces, breasts, hips, arms, ears, chins, tummies and an Adam's Apple. We need a few more parts to build the entire body.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra…

Finish this story

13 April, 2007Posted inObservations26 Comments
Nimbus Fallon, world-famous cloned sheep, had achieved super-human intelligence. Within hours of her birth she was gamboling about the meadow, days later she was explaining Fermat’s Theorum to college freshmen at Cornell University. At three months old, she became the first quadruped to solve a Rubik’s Cube with hooves. But early fame does not set easy with the young and Nimbus soon found that…viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online…

More people we dislike #15

12 April, 2007Posted inObservations35 Comments
Mean people who win the lottery. The cashier at Baja Fresh who continually gets my order wrong because, “There’s no other vegetarians.” Advertisers who are suffering from the delusion that all senior citizens spend each day walking in slow motion on the beach their golden retriever. People who say, “We’ll give them the dog and pony show.” I’ve been to several of these presentations and have yet to see either a dog or pony. Color me disappointed. People who give me migraines so bad that I don’t post on time. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does…

Not what I will be wearing…

11 April, 2007Posted inObservations54 Comments
…when my year in white ends. I promise. Image via Jenviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra…

Eat Me

10 April, 2007Posted inObservations42 Comments
I must admit to always being disturbed by pictures like this: food that can't wait to end itself, smothering condiments on generously to assist in its own demise. As a child, I was horrified by hamburger joints that had cows eating burgers or licking their lips. Something about the cannibalistc cows deeply upset me. Is it just me, or are you freaked out by this as well? Image via Robynviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

Complete this Sentence, #36

09 April, 2007Posted inObservations43 Comments
"The worst thing about going to work on Monday is having to __________ all the __________ ."viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free…

Open letter to Scented Candle Makers

08 April, 2007Posted inObservations17 Comments
To whom it may concern, I, like many American citizens, enjoy purchasing scented candles as a means to lighten the mood of a room, whether to herald the change of season, or perhaps to get laid. As a long-time purchaser of scented candles, I find myself qualified to venture an opinion or two on your industry. In the hot dog industry, hot dogs come in packs of six or ten. Hot dog buns come in packs of eight. No matter what you do, you’re screwed with two extra. Your industry seems to have the same deal worked out with candlestick…

WAIT, I WILL HELPS YOU TYEP!

07 April, 2007Posted inUncategorized36 Comments
(My cat likes to help me type) Update: Jade made the front page of I CAN HAS CHEEZBURGER?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra…

Caption Time #171

06 April, 2007Posted inCaption Time25 Comments
Photo submitted by mikeBviagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase viagra online free viagra without prescription viagra attorneys free viagra samples before buying buy generic viagra cheap viagra uk generic viagra online try viagra for free generic viagra from india fda approves viagra free viagra sample what is better viagra or levitra discount generic viagra online viagra…

Fun with Waitstaff

05 April, 2007Posted inObservations29 Comments
As the waiter brings food to another table, pull out a shotgun and scream, “That’s my food! Goddamn, you thieving bastard!” and fire a warning shot into the waiter’s kneecap. Then look at the food, and with a confused look proclaim, “Oh, oops. That’s not what I ordered. My bad.” When they ask, “How does everything taste,” you answer, “Oh it’s de-LISH! Here, you try some. Now don’t be shy. Here comes the choo-choo train, open wide!” When they give you a complimentary breadbasket, jump up on the table and scream, “Free bread?!? Hallelujah!” and do cartwheels through the restaurant.…