You find the strangest things on Google

Caption Time #70

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Caption Time #69

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Pimp my ride

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Malapropisms and mispronunciations

“perifeal vision” (heard on CNN) “samwichiz (heard on CNN) “perdickuler” (neighbor) “fedral mandrate” (heard on CSPAN2) “teepanated” (heard at work) “for all intensive purposes” (heard on CNN) “lack toast and tolerant” (heard at work) “I guess it was just a pigment of my imagination.” (same neighbor) “My glasses were so foggied up with compensation.” (heard […]

Note to Self, No. 5,713

How is it that women can turn three drawers of delicates into 35 book boxes weighing 70 lbs. a piece? By the way, despite having miraculous rejuvenation properties, Lime Gatorade and Peanut M&Ms do not taste too good together.

In the news

I was reading in the news that Britney Spears finally pushed out a puppy. Preston Michael Spears. I fear for this child having the initials “PMS”, while his mother’s are “BS”.

Prolapsed Pachyderm

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More things that sound dirty, but aren’t

Draining his pasta Cleaning her lint trap Rearranging her bookshelves Checking her fluid levels Soaking the dentures Uncorked her champagne Filing her taxes Grinding the beans Polishing the boots Licking her stamp collection Winding her clock Counting her rosary beads Sending out the invitations Flipping her hotcakes Burning his CD Waxing her hood Blowing out […]

Caption Time #68

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I assume this is a turtle?

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Something about this image disturbs me

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