Rejected Superhero Ideas

Cowboyeeeee

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Ruminations

Anyone who has ever been in a a car with a woman for more than five miles knows one immutable fact: they have to pee already. They went while getting ready to leave. Right as you held the door open for them, they ran back in to pee once more. Now that you have been […]

True story

Earlier this week my 19 year-old brother was laying in his bedroom trying to take an afternoon nap. He heard the front door open to the apartment. He figured our dad had gotten off work early. He hears the fridge open and close and then he hears someone in the bathroom. Then suddenly he hears […]

What I’m havin’ for lunch.

Caption Time #71

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Things I don’t understand:

Why coffee isn’t an essential food group. Why all sitcom fathers are bumbling idiots. Why on commercials, when a family sits down for dinner, everyone nods in unison. Why talentless mouthbreathers like Paulie Shore, Carrot Top, Jessica Simpson and Starr Jones continue to get contracts to be in front of a camera. Why most of […]

Caption Time #73

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Cougar, redefined

After my recent post about cougars, many of you demanded to see examples. Flickr to the rescue. This woman is easily the best example of a cougar I’ve ever seen.

Caption Time #72

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Pumpkins walk among us

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Overheard: Insane neighbors edition

Cougar: “You didn’t use the ice from the green tray, did you? Boyfriend: “Yes … why?” Cougar: “That ice is stale! It’s been in the freezer for months.” Boyfriend: “How can ice go stale? It’s frozen water.” Cougar: “Well, I say it can!” [Definition of Cougar]

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