Who’s wearing my genes?

Each year I become somewhat introspective on my birthday (rather than merely depressed), as I reflect on my life and what I have or have not become. This year it became apparent to me that the following genes remain absent or dormant in my genetic make up: The gene that enjoys waking up prior to […]

Psychic or psycho?

Spotted at Starbucks last night chanting, “Am I psychic or psycho? Psychic or psycho? Psycho or psychic? You decide! AHAHAHAHAHA!” He and his 35 year-old D&D buddies seemed to find this highly amusing. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 […]

Most Dangerous Jobs

Bouncer for a Viking Menstrual Hut Wife of Henry VIII Orca Orthodontist at Sea World Wickerman tester Target Changer for the Blind Rifleman’s Association Belfast cab driver Ethiopian Ambassador to Mississipi Catnip grower in India Poison taster for warning labels President of the Ashlee Simpson Fan Club Horticulturist in Chernobyl viagra free viagra buy viagra […]

Modern Literature in Five Words

Swann’s Way — Marcel Proust “I just can’t fall asleep.” Lo! — Charles Fort “It’s raining cats and frogs.” Mists of Avalon — Marion Zimmer Bradley “Ew! With your own brother?” The Prophet — Kahlil Gibran “You’re all just lazy peasants.” The DaVinci Code — Dan Brown “Fine. Blame Leonardo for everything.” Angela’s Ashes — […]

Words fail me

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Mind your T’s and A’s

On Friday I got the following error message in BBEdit. Someone had misspelled “title” within a link tag. Error:File wn_messaging.jsp; Line 72: Document type does not permit attribute “tit” within element “<a>”. The moral? Don’t put your tits in your a. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra […]

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The mind is not the first thing to go

Four years ago I had a neighbor that reeked so powerfully of God knows what that I thought I had smelled the doorway to Hell’s outhouse. He was later incarcerated, presumably for impersonating a septic tank. For the last two years, my Albanian neighbors have been cooking up dishes that must surely consist of wet […]

A favor

I have a confession. I’ve not been very pleased with this site over the past year. No, I am not going to give up posting. I just want to improve the content. I reread some of my older entries and in 2001-2003 I wrote some great entries. Last year, I could count on one hand […]

Best Worst Dream Ever

I had the stupidest dream of my life last night. In the dream, my best friend was Corey Feldman. All of my friends at work kept teasing me for hanging out with him, but I kept defending Corey. “You just don’t know him like I do. He’s a great guy in person. He’s honest and […]

Number holding competition

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