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  1. Lace Valentine

    I always wanted to be like the other kids, without a big ass-rat face. Finally, Chip accepted me for who I was on the beaches of Fort Lauderdale. That was 20 years ago. The shame of mouse-guilt was gone. No more crawling through broken tenement ventilation, alone, depressed, without human company.

    In fact I’m finally marrying Chip’s sister, a Jewish princess from Jersey. In a few years we’ll have a couple of little cheeses.

    You can look at life as either holding a lot of empty holes or a lot of Swiss cheese. Being half rat, half gerbil, isn’t so bad I’ve discovered in the end.

  2. Esther

    “Do you think anyone will notice that my shoes don’t match my shirt?”

  3. Spud

    “Does my head look big in this?”

  4. Oddly enough, they both hold identical expressions.

  5. mikeB

    I had this really good gerbiling joke …..

  6. Mandy

    Ashlee Simpson, age 5 and her first boyfriend.

  7. Dear Dairy,
    Today I met a guy who is different. Most guys I meet like to have sex 20 ro 30 times per day. He is different. We have sex once… then he falls asleep and won’t talk to me for a week. 😆

  8. Topo Gigio and Ernesto Gagliardi are best buddies, doing everything together. Whether it’s skiing in the Laurentians or taking in some sun on the Brazilian coast, if you see one you’ll see the other close by. Although Ernesto has never appeared on television with his more famous friend, he says he would like one day to have his own talk-show, just like Larry King.

  9. frisko

    I strongly feel some of us need more vitamins.

    Help them out here.

  10. Kid on left thinking to self: *hmm, that’s weird, there ain’t no tail back here…*

    Kid on Right SCREAMING through the tears: “Mom!!! Timmy’s Grabbing my ass!!!”

  11. ali

    “Mommy, are you sure this is Disney World?”

  12. Esther

    I definitely know that I could sure use more, hell, any, alcohol, Frisko.:lol:

  13. Errol the Eagle

    Young Bobby’s day at the beach was ruined by a severe allergic reaction to his sunblock.

  14. In modern times, boys who misbehave are not sent to the “Pleasure Island” to become donkeys, but are sent to the “Beach” for an even more sinister fate…

Comments are closed