FOUR YEAR OLD: “You know what would be so cool, Daddy?”
FOUR YEAR OLD: “If instead of a beard, you could grow a tree on your face.”
THREE YEAR OLD: “That would not be good.”
THREE YEAR OLD: “It would be amazing.”
- People who refuse to include punctuation in email or texts.
- The guy (it’s always a guy) who passes you on the road and then promptly slows down.
- That lady who refuses to admit she misdialed you… again.
- Men who wear Crocs with business suits.
- Young men who think wearing a vest with a porkpie hat makes them jazz musicians.
- Older women who think wearing loud mumus with oversized glasses makes them artists.
- People who rasp, wheeze, and smell like a nicotine factory and claim they “quit ten years ago.”
- The cheap bastard who drinks 3/4 of his expensive cocktail before returning it, claiming they made the wrong drink. Then re-orders the same thing.
- Anyone with a straw hat.
- The person in the picture and whatever she’s doing to that poor baby [PHOTO COURTESY: NoWayGirl.com]
- Anyone who owns more than three parrots.