Observations

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Those puckish Weasley twins cast Fentwigg’s Ever-Growing Erection Spell on Harry, getting him expelled. Malfoy decides he can make a fortune selling magical strains of marijuana to the muggles. He runs a cartel of Dementors and lives in a mansion in Bogota, Columbia. Hagrid is caught in a compromising position with a hippogriff and subsequently fired. Their monstrous offspring return to tear the school apart, leaving only a few shaken house elves alive. Seamus decides to spill the beans about Hoggwarts to the muggle press. He sells Nearly Headless Nick to Disney for US $14 million. Nick quickly becomes the…

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Natalie and I were discussing how every decent sized city has certain businesses with the same name, that are not franchises. No matter where you go (at least in the North American continent), you are likely to find these. Please add any I’ve missed, particularly ones outside this continent. A night club called Asylum or Sanctuary A First Baptist Church (unless you consider Baptists to be a franchise) A Chicken Shack An unexpected place to find live bait (Ex. Milly’s Ice Cream and Bait Shop) A fake Irish pub run by Italians A sports bar called Woody’s. Inevitably, it will…

As made up by Davezilla Aries: Your enthusiasm and boundless energy will be appreciated at work, especially during that important meeting. That is, until you get the church giggles and wet your pants. Taurus: Taureans prefer to take things slow and steady. Today’s continued heat-wave will see you falling asleep shortly after touching yourself to naughty pictures. The janitor reports you to HR. Gemini: You will finally get that letter you’ve long been waiting for: the RIAA is indeed suing you for downloading illegal MP3s. Cancer: Mommy sends you new PJs with duckies and flowers on them. You wonder if…

Of late I have been ordering iced black tea, mixed with lemonade at Starbucks. One day, the cashier yells to the barista, "An Arnold Palmer. Venti," to which the barista repsonded, "What the hell is that?" "Well that's the name of that drink. We call them that at the other store." That got me to thinking. Wouldn't it be fun to make up all manner of drinks and claim that, "I dunno. All the other Starbucks make it." Some suggestions. Be sure to add your own. The Lily Tomlin Rasberry Broken Refrigerator A Sarah Silverman Paris in Jail, with soy…

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