Tag: Observations

  • Social Networks that Didn’t Work

    DrySpace – A place for recovering alcoholic friends DepriveJournal – Please don’t write anything personal Clogger – The Official Blogging Software of the Dutch EraseBook – Forget about college Knickr – The best way to store, search, sort and share photos of your girlfriend in her underwear. BlurredPress – Like You Can Read PhotoSuckIt –…

  • Not like lettuce

    Bears are not like lettuce. Epidemics are not like lettuce. Noctambulists are not like lettuce. Ibuprofen is not like lettuce. Slingshots are not like lettuce. Narcissists are not like lettuce. Oligarchies are not like lettuce. Thongs are not like lettuce. Lasers are not like lettuce. Invertebrates are not like lettuce. Kites are not like lettuce.…

  • An open letter to the men of Japan

    Gentlemen, This week sees the arrest of yet another Japanese pervert; serial lingerie thief Shigeo Kodama. Kodama, a 54 year-old construction worker, stole nearly 4,000 pairs of panties in only six years. I only have a few questions, as one who has never visited Japan. What is up with Japanese men and panties? Granted, as…

  • How to annoy the drive through clerk 2

    ”Are the burgers locally grown? I only eat organic.” ”My water broke.” ”Your mother’s in here, Karras. Would you like to leave a message? I’ll see that she gets it.” ”Two fifty-six for the meal? OK, how much for a lapdance?” ”Is this the place where the rats where found in the tacos? I don’t…

  • How I feel right about now

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  • Hell hath no fury like a kitten scorned

    My cat recently turned 17. That age marks a special time in a cat’s life when she ascends from a Demanding Diva to a Hirsute Hobgoblin. True, she is still deceptively beautiful, in the same way many terrible vipers are. It is her mannerisms that have transcended during this special year. Socks I used to…

  • To Hell and back

    Some interesting road trips you can make in the United States. Suggested by misterarthur. From Intercourse, Pennsylvania to Climax, Michigan From Kill Devil Hills, North Carolina to Hell, Michigan From Spread Eagle, Wisconsin to Hooker, Arkansas From Cut-Off, Louisiana to Blueballs, Pennsylvania From Cold Water, Mississippi to Hot Water, Mississippi From Toad Suck, Arkansas to…

  • Overheard: People are stupid edition

    Barista: “She has like, an accent or something. She speaks in British.” Woman on the phone near me: “I heard that if you break vitamins in half, most of the amino acids escape.” Young girl on phone: “If I shave my head, will the hair ever grow back? No, I’m being serious. It will? Really?”…

  • Imponderables #3

    Every year the groundhog sees his shadow and we end up with a long winter. Can’t we genetically create groundhogs with no fear? viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects…

  • From Russia, with funk

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  • A letter to the inventor of the automotive visor

    Dear Visor Engineers: I am writing a letter to express my disappointment with your products. I understand that as automotive engineers go, your job is not a glamorous one. Indeed, yours is on the bottom rung of the engineering ladder, right below the windshield (windscreen) wiper engineers. That said, I think you could do better.…

  • Rejected Childrens Book Sequels

    Frog and Toad and Mortal Enemies Harriet the Spy in Guantanamo Bay Curious George throws his feces The 500 Diseases of Bartholomew Cubbins Where the Girls Gone Wild Things Are Horton Hears a Glock James and the Giant Bitch The Princess and the Period Everybody Poops. Just Not at School. Which ones did I miss?…