Category: Observations
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Overheard: Sushi edition
Man #1: How come every fat guy in America has a goatee? Man #2: Bush made that a law. You didn’t hear? Customer: Is this sushi all fish or what? Waitress: No. Some is fish, Some is vegetable. Some is raw. Not all. Some is barbecue. Customer: How about chicken? Waitress: No. Chicken is not…
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Bad sushi ideas
We seem to be on a fish theme this week … Salmonella Roll Spicy Puma BBQ Hagfish Roll Tarantula Roll Seppuku Roll Kim Jong Eel Chum Roll Lutefisk Roll Hand-rolled Halibutt Codpiece Roll viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6…
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Sick of Hotmail?
I have no more GMail invitations left for the any readers who’d like them. Please include your real email address if you want one.
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Home Cooked Meals #1
On many occasions I have mentioned my downstairs neighbors that hail from Albania. They have some recipes that give one pause as to their immediate origin. In time, one begins to identify the unique and fetid aromas that waft miasmatically from their kitchen. I thought I’d share the wealth with my readers and provide you,…
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Overheard: Olympuh-nick Edition
Albanian neighbor: Get car. Me: Excuse me? Albanian neighbor: Get car. New. Is. Get car. Me: Uh, oh that’s a rental car. Mine is in the shop. Albanian neighbor: Is nice get car. Me: Yes, it is nice to get a car. Albanian neighbor: You watch Olympuh-nick? Me: Yes, Greece just lost to the US…
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Google doesn’t have everything
Your search – “George W. Bush is a fricking genius” – did not match any documents. Your search – “I broke my monkey” – did not match any documents. Your search – “Bush ate my waffles” – did not match any documents. Your search – “Ally McBeal’s brain” – did not match any documents. Your…
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Note to self: 4,812
If the garbage bag of cat litter is too full, and you’re hustling to the dumpster before it rips wide open, wear shoes and socks next time. viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for…
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Saucy Wench?
I got to thinking about how people name their boats and wondered if I had a boat, what would I name it? Here’s some suggestions I recommend avoiding at all costs: Sea Maiden’s Drool Bucket Ocean Loaf Cthulhu’s Tantrum Paris Hilton’s Bikini Jimmy Hoffa’s Coffin River Chunk Leaky Heap Wet Bastard Peanutbutter and Jellyfish The…
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Have a Coke and a smile
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Fun with Shopping Carts
Owing to some past-life, seventh generation Irish curse, I have been destined to tarry on this earth forever branded as the poor soul with the squeaky shopping cart. It never fails. I test and experiment, to the dismay and amusement of other savvy shoppers, but always end up with the cart that sounds like a…
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The Collect Call of Cthulhu
Yoggy Yog: Yo man, pick up the phone. Pick up the phooooone, bitch. … C’mon, you squid-lookin’ muthafuckah. Pick up the damn phone! Operator: Collect call from … Snoop Yoggy Yog? Uh, for Mister Keth-uh-loo? Do you accept the charges? Cthulhu: The Hells you want? Yoggy Yog: Shut it, fool. Where’s my CD, beyotch? Cthulhu:…
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Notes to self: 4,705-4,709
Do not rub eyes after using the kitchen sponge. Do not look at the hot secretary while walking towards the heavy glass door. Check your zipper before meeting new clients. 😳 No matter how tempting or funny it seems, do not put tortilla chips on the cats’ heads. They will wait until lights out and…
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