Observations

You have two cats. Each cat weighs about 8 pounds. Each cat eats 1/2 pound of dry food per week, Each cat also has its own litterbox with 20 pounds of litter. When you go to change the litterboxes, the litter in each box weighs 38 pounds. How is this possible?viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side effects female viagra natural viagra online viagra cheapest viagra prices herbal viagra alternative to viagra buy generic viagra purchase…

Last night, the lovely Natalie and I had dinner with the adorably witty Melissa and her charming husband, Logan. Those two are quite a pair and kept us laughing all night. Her retelling of the evening is far better than I could do, so please read her version. She includes an excellent description of our harrowing encounter with Rottweiler Man, whose stinky breath I can still feel on my neck.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women viagra side…

Phyllis Glabstrubber. Phyllis Glabstrubber. American. Bunions are acting up again. The glasses help smelling flowers. Never paying $4.95 for a lousy paperback again. Bra is too tight. Dying for a Virginia Slims 100. Nope, don't like the Pepsi Clear, either. Call that a dog? Damn kids. Toilet papered the trees again last night. Shoe's coming apart. Running out of the Gold Bond powder. Think I'll upgrade to first class on this flight.viagra free viagra buy viagra online generic viagra how does viagra work cheap viagra buy viagra buy viagra online inurl viagra 6 free samples viagra online viagra for women…

Dear Heavyset, You sat next to me in the first class section of flight 427 this evening. I wasn't ruffled when you accidentally dropped your lead-filled carry-on bag on my crotch. I stifled a scream when you dropped your styrofoam cup of scalding decaf on my kneecap. I resisted the urge to break your pinky when you became uncontrollably flatulent during takeoff. Then you got out your reading material and that was simply too much. Really. The "Tao of Texas Holdem Poker"? Please. Perhaps I could have overlooked this as merely a lack of culture in your life. I tried…

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Carrot Top Carrot Top must be punished for being the least amusing comedian since Sheckie Green. His punishment will be to be buried alive with only his hair showing. Michael Jackson For years of being a spoiled, freakish, child-poking medical oddity, he must be surgically dismantled and melted down into candle wax. The candles will be sold to the Church of Satan. Cathy Guisewite For producing the worst comic about failed relationships in the history of newspapers, the Cathy creator will be forced to be a marriage counselor in the Darfur region of the Sudan. Mel Gibson As Mel feels…

You're dining alone, but you have multiple personalities. Is it proper to request separate checks? You're performing an exorcism on your significant other's mother. Is it socially acceptable to tie her down and gag her with duct tape? Your cable repairman has severe plumber's crack going on and a receipt is wedged in said crack. Do you: a) Remove it quickly and then burn your hands? b) Pretend to ignore it, while stifling church giggles? or c) Take pictures and post them on Davezilla? Your boss's combover is flipping in the wind during a company picnic. Is it acceptable to…

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